Some people have asked me lately how to be funny, and my first response used to be, “How the heck should I know — I’m not funny.” But on the other hand, people have been laughing at me a lot lately. So maybe I can offer some clues.
Great starting points are surprise and absurdity. Like seeing two things together that don’t belong together. In a little town north of Sacramento there’s a building by the highway with two businesses in it: a mortuary and an espresso shop. Think of the marketing possibilities: “Coffee to die for.” Or “Our coffee can wake the dead!”
Speaking of food and things that don’t go together, I’m more than a little queasy about this new trend of putting fast food joints inside filling stations. Like a Taco Bell inside a Texaco, for example. I keep having this vision of some mechanic with 30-weight oil on his hands making my tostada. Talk about stopping for gas! (Ba da bump.)
Exaggeration can be very effective. My writing partner Richard Helm and I started getting together in Nashville for the sole purpose of writing weird songs, just to entertain ourselves and take a break from trying to write formula hits. Sometimes we laugh all through a session just from taking an idea to extremes.
In our song, “Self-Employment Made Harder By Difficult Boss,” (inspired by an article by my brother Jeff), the singer applies all the usual complaints about bosses to himself. He doesn’t pay himself enough, he doesn’t give himself enough time off, he makes fun of himself behind his own back, and he sends himself too many interoffice memos. He even sues himself for sexual harassment. Finally he works it all out and feels he has a good chance for “employee of the year.” It’s pretty silly, but an audience favorite because there’s some truth in there. It’s just taken to extremes. That’s another aspect of humor: some of it works precisely because it really sets off your truth meter.
The title of that song is a good example of wordplay. Words are a great source of fun, like “The Shootout at the I’m OK, You’re OK Corral.” (Again, two things that don’t belong together.) That song title alone has snared me lots of bookings. Other famous song title examples are “I’d Rather Have a Bottle in Front of Me Than a Frontal Lobotomy,” “I’m So Miserable Without You, It’s Like You Were Here,” and “She Was Pure As The New Fallen Snow, But She Drifted.” (Nobody is better at wordplay than country songwriters.) If you’re a word person, try putting together words in new ways, or making up your own.
It helps to decide to adopt a humor mindset. Look for oddities. Decide to keep your mind tuned to the humor wavelength. Walk around smiling like you’ve just heard or seen something funny, and people will think you’re funny. Or at least fun. As Bernie Siegel suggests, look at the world through the eyes of a child, see the absurdities, then comment on them. Read the comics. Collect jokes. Save funny thoughts and ideas. Share them with people. Get used to doing it. Find stuff that makes you laugh and wallow in it. Movies, books, cartoons, writers. Keep a humor journal.
Think of your most embarrassing moments. Keep a mental file so you can bring them up at appropriate times. Ditto with other weird stories from your life. Self-effacing humor is the most connecting.
One of my friends always has some embarrassing story about herself. She told me about getting served a meal on a plane (two things that certainly don’t go together any more), and because she was sitting between two huge people there was no room for her arms. She couldn’t cut her food because her elbows kept banging into her breasts. That’s a great visual. And she’s got big, beautiful….laughter. (You thought I was going to say “breasts,” didn’t you! See, you were surprised.) A great laugh is a great asset. People like to be around good laughers, because it makes us laugh. It’s contagious. So don’t hold back. Laugh big.
You don’t have to always come up with the perfect line or just the right funny idea to say in every situation. But if you stay relaxed and don’t try too hard, you’ll come up with your share. You can be “sneaky” funny. When you unexpectedly blow one in there every so often, people will think you’re even funnier than you are, because they don’t expect it. (This pretty much sums up my whole career.)
I grew up with lots of friends who are much funnier and quicker than I am, including both of my brothers. Once or twice at a show I was introduced as a comedian, and I had to put a screeching halt to that, because it changes expectations. Real, professional comedians have brains from another planet. They’re wired differently, like they’re on permanent speed. So I use the word “humorist.” A humorist is a person who thinks slower than a comedian.
However, I have noticed that for some reason my ability to be funny increases when I’m on stage. I once heard George Carlin say that his comedy shows are like a stage play, he does them the exact same way every time. One thing this does is relax you, because you know what you’re going to say. Then some other, unused part of your brain is free to be playful and spontaneous, occasionally surprising you with a good line.
Knowing what you’re going to say on stage also helps you become good at repeatedly telling the same story in a way that’s funny. Sort of like an actor. It’s a skill you can develop, even if you’re not a performer.
A doctor friend of mine is a very funny guy to be around, and also a hilarious speaker and performer. He’s quick, good with words, has wild ideas, and loves to instantly change your state of mind by saying what you least expect at any moment. Sometimes you can see a little Cosby or Groucho in his delivery, so you know he’s paid attention to funny people. He’s also good at telling and retelling stories. But for all his funniness, he cannot tell, or even remember jokes. It’s amazing. He has what I call “joke disability.” It’s really bad. He just can’t remember them. And if he does try to retell one that I’ve just told him, it bombs. It’s not funny, except that it’s funny that he can’t do it. So we laugh about that. But he doesn’t need jokes. He’s great at spontaneous humor, and telling stories from his own life. So he plays to his strengths.
Another author and speaker friend who loves humor incorporates it into his shows in different kinds of ways: slides of cartoons, puns, and funny stories. Plus he’s great at telling jokes. It’s very effective. You play to your strengths.
So decide to have the humor mindset. Start slow, and build a little every week. Just figure out what entertains you, and share that with people. Remember to relax–let it come. Trying too hard to be funny will blow it every time. I’ve gotten some great laughs by just smiling when people were expecting a line. It’s better sometimes to just be silent and let them think you’re brilliant.
© 2008 Greg Tamblyn, Motivational Humorist and occasional funny person.
The Chinese government, out of concern for foreign sensibilities, has ordered that dog meat not be served in restaurants during the Olympics. It’s wonderful to know the dogs are safe for a couple of weeks. (No word, however about a similar reprieve for the Lamas in Tibet…)
My brain retains many colorful memories of China, many of which are about food. I have kind of a love/strange relationship with this admittedly mesmerizing country. Sort of like an old romance that continues to fascinate because of its weirdness. Going to China (three times!) was always a bit like going to another planet inhabited by friendly aliens.
In one town we stood outside a shop with crates of little animals on the sidewalk: chickens, ducks, rabbits, snakes, and some other creatures. Naturally we assumed it was a pet store. Strangely, however, there were no more cages inside. Instead, what we saw through the windows was a room full of tables and chairs….filled with people….happily munching on their selections from the sidewalk.
Real Chinese food is whole different universe of gustatory experience.
A fascinating activity is to stroll through an outdoor food market and count the number of dead animals you can’t identify. I made it to about 15 before I gave up. Our guide bragged that his fellow Chinese will eat “anything with 4 legs except a table, and anything that flies except a plane.”
In one nice eatery we were encouraged to try the fried crickets, chicken feet, and duck heads. Seriously. I know what you’re thinking. So how were they? Well, to be brutally, totally, bluntly frank about this, it was the one time in my adult life I can admit I would have been deliriously happy to see a McDonalds. Unless I wind up forgotten in a Turkish prison, lost in the Amazon, or starving in the Sahara, I will gladly leave certain poultry parts to the makers of dog food and fertilizer. And bugs? I refuse to steal the rightful food of birds and small rodents. Even to save face with the locals.
Like George Carlin famously said, “I don’t like eating something it looks like I should step on.”
Later, on a cruise down a river, I was riveted by a large jug of wine sitting on the lounge bar. It was a gallon jug of clear rice wine — with a dead snake in it about the size of the one that tried to eat Harry Potter. Snake wine. I’m not kidding. And, get this, made from a poisonous snake. (You see what I mean about another planet? Who would think of this?) Perhaps you’re saying to yourself, Oh sure, that’s weird, but it’s just some freaky tourist attraction to get people on that boat. My friends, have no doubt that what I tell you is true: snake wine is not only common, it’s a whole industry. (For verification of this, click the link at the bottom. You’ll be amazed.)
So there we were, cruising down this breathtakingly scenic river that had, over the eons, carved out the famous Karst topography which you so often see in hauntingly beautiful Chinese paintings of this area. After a couple of hours on the upper deck, a few of the American males in the group, including myself, went below to sit by the windows, drink beer, and engage in a joke telling session that produced some of the best laughs I’ve had in my whole joking lifetime.
Maybe it was the high level of our happy meter that brought the friendly bar gal over to our table. Whatever the reason, she showed up in the midst of our fun with a big smile and the aforementioned generous jug of snake wine (made from a poisonous snake!) for us to sample.
The thing is, I don’t drink much alcohol, so it affects me pretty quickly. By the time she showed up I’d had a couple of beers (maybe three?) and my resistance, to paraphrase the Borg, was futile. My compliance may also have had something to do with being in the company of four other macho Americans and not wishing to appear wimpish.
So, after a brief toast to the dead snake, we quaffed. As I recall, it tasted a bit like sake. In fact, it tasted exactly like sake. Except for the small piece of snake that got caught in my teeth.
It’ll be interesting to watch the Olympics and see how much of the real China gets through the broadcast filters. With any luck, they’ll be serving chicken feet and snake wine in Olympic Village.
© 2008 Greg Tamblyn, Motivational Humorist and occasional foreign traveler
* To visit Greg’s Group Travel page, click here.
* Click here to learn about snake wine and scorpion wine.
* Click here for pictures of weird food in the markets.
* The news is spreading. Here’s a NY Times article about the Chinese government forbidding serving dog meat at Beijing restaurants during the Olympics.