Up Your Consciousness! …by Greg Tamblyn

(Scroll down for more photos…)

Three years ago a large group of us visited a girls orphanage in Bali. Many of these girls are not orphans, but their families can’t afford to keep them. Still, the girls are generally happy. They laughed with us, sang with us, and we shared inexpensive gifts with them.

Then we surprised them with something they’d never done before. We brought them back to the posh ARMA resort for some of the best food they’d ever tasted. We took them swimming in the fancy pool (don’t worry, we waited an hour). Then we sang for them (and with them) in a full-out concert. They had an incredible day, and we did too. Everybody got all filled up with love and fun.

It became obvious we could do a lot more. We found out how absurdly cheap it is to feed, clothe, and educate them. We could give them better living conditions, better learning tools (like computers), and a better future, all for a semi-small drop in the bucket.

So we did.

We each sponsored a girl. We send our adopted student letters, encouragement, little gifts, and pay her expenses. They in turn write to us (in English!) with updates, photos, and overflowing thanks.

Girls in an economy-challenged place like Bali (and especially the poorest girls, like ours) have very limited educational and career opportunities. But with our sponsorships and personal interest, we’re making a giant, positive change in their lives. They now have access to education, ideas, and futures many of them had never imagined.

Some of you probably do something similar and know how good this feels. (It feels even better than writing a song, which is about the best feeling there is in my world.) Others of you might like to find out.

You can make a life-changing difference for one of these girls — and for yourself — by joining this community of connection and caring, and sponsoring a girl. (It’s 100% tax-deductible.)

How? It’s easy. Call Bill Taylor.

My good friends Bill and Pat Taylor have made this orphanage their mission. They supervise and oversee all the funds, and make sure ALL of the money goes to the girls. They even pay ALL the administrative expenses out of their own pockets! I have known them a long time, and can personally, wholeheartedly vouch for their utmost integrity and commitment. Bill and Pat are personally sponsoring several girls, and have found sponsors for many more. (Bill is a semi-retired advisor for non-profit organizations.)

Simply contact Bill and he’ll happily share the details with you. It’s that easy. Even if you’re not sure, get in touch with Bill. You’ll be rewarded. He can be reached at (425) 771-7990, or email him: billt4 (at) earthlink.net

One final note. This whole beautiful project would not have happened without the vision and inspiration of the huge-hearted Jana Stanfield. It was her idea to visit and adopt the orphanage. Due to Jana’s busy travel schedule, and the relative freedom of the Taylor’s, Bill and Pat have generously taken on the administration of this project.

P.S. Bill can explain this waaay better than I can. There are a couple of options, and he has all the information.

Thanks! I hope you join us.

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Recently I read about a fascinating two-question study that demonstrates how people who tend to be “liberal” or “conservative” are actually wired differently. It’s all in the brain.

The questions:

• Would you slap your father during a skit if he gave you permission?
• Does it disgust you to touch the faucet in a public restroom?

If you answered yes to the first and no to the second, you’re more likely to be liberal. With conservatives the answers are usually reversed.

Why? Conservatives are more likely to be impressed by authority, and more easily disgusted by anything that could be considered less-than-hygenic. With liberals, it’s the opposite.

That’s not right or wrong. It just is.

Reading this, you might have a gut reaction that it IS right or wrong. That’s the point. Whichever way you’re wired, you’ll probably respond in kind.

Similarly, we know that men’s and women’s brains are wired differently. The portion of the brain that women use for relationships, for example, is about the size of a grapefruit. In men it’s about the size of a walnut.

Men and women find things in space differently, too. Men tend to use direction and measurement, while women tend to use landmarks. Women can locate the mustard in the refrigerator, while a man may never see it even though he’s looking right at it.

Using my astute powers of male observation, it seems to me that another huge difference between men and women is compartments.

Most of the women I know love compartments. My female cousin, for example, sells baskets. Every shape and size, and for any purpose. Every room in her house contains boatloads of baskets. It’s like that Star Trek episode with tribbles, but in her case it’s baskets. Nothing is lying around loose. Everything is in a basket. Even other baskets.

Another friend has a tall container in her garage made specifically to hold….rolls of gift-wrapping paper! The women reading this are thinking, Yeah, so? And the men are thinking, That’s a joke, right? Because this would never even occur to a guy. Why would someone use valuable time and energy to design and manufacture — or buy — containers for gift wrap, when you could easily shove it in a closet or under the couch and, say, go watch a ballgame? (And eat a hot dog. With mustard. If you can find it.)

She also has a tray on her dining table containing smaller trays and holders for the salt and pepper, napkins, and I forget what else. Her containers are lined with containers. Everything has its own little nest.

If you’ve ever been invited to a Tupperware party, you probably don’t have a Y chromosome.

Suppose you’re a male. And suppose you want to know what it’s like to feel like an alien from another planet. Just walk into one of those Organized Living stores by yourself. The women will stare at you in disbelief. Eventually they’ll decide you’re gay. I know. I’ve done it.

A man only needs one compartment. It’s called the house. He can have a couple of sub-compartments like the garage or basement. But basically, if it’s in the house, he thinks he can find it.

Occasionally the car can become a compartment. Especially if the man is a slob and his wife isn’t. My grandfather’s old Valiant was visible proof of the chaos theory: Camel cartons, sacks of horehound drops, tools, locks, keys, dirty clothes, spare hats, half-eaten snacks, newspapers, ancient magazines, cash receipts, branding irons for cattle, and 30 or 40 pounds of farm dust and fertilizer. A man’s car is his castle.

For reasons that should be obvious, he also had a separate bedroom from my grandmother. His bedside table was littered with a mind-boggling disarray of almost as much junk, including an impressive collection of back scratchers.*

*They were not neatly arranged in a tray or a basket.

If you’ve seen “Defending The Caveman,” the hilarious (and hugely successful) one-man play by Rob Becker, you know what I”m talking about. The brilliant thing about this play is that Becker manages to poke fun at men and women, and our reactions to each other, while remaining respectful of both sexes. So nobody is offended, everybody is entertained and educated. We leave the play more aware and accepting of each other, while having laughed our butts off for a couple of hours.

The point is, we’re different. Men, women, liberal, conservative, gay, straight. We’re wired that way. It’s in the brain. Someone needs to write a play that does for liberals and conservatives what Defending The Caveman does for men and women.

Because the way around the brain is through the funnybone.

And the heart.

© 2009 Greg Tamblyn, male person

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Last January when I released the “World Newspapers Celebrate Obama” poster, the campaign chairperson of Idaho offered to personally hand one to President Obama at the staffers inaugural party. Until recently, I didn’t follow up with her to find out what happened. Here’s what she wrote:

“I was at the inaugural ball that was only for the staffers of his campaign and I had a chance to get close to him on stage. I told him I was the Idaho state director, which he remembered, and said that the whole world is as happy as WE are today, and told him an artist friend gave me this poster as a representation. He was thrilled!” — Kassie Cerami

Cool, huh!

POSTER UPDATE: I have less than 12 posters left, and when they’re gone, they’re gone. (I’m back to my real life now.) If you’d like to order one or more of the remaining few, here’s the link to the info, and the video of how they came about:

http://gregtamblyn.com/obamaposter.htm

There are only a few hundred of these in existence, so who knows, maybe one day they’ll be a collectible.

And if you’re one of the folks who bought one, or several, or helped spread the word, and especially if you’re one of the folks who sent me your front page, thanks again for making this such a great experience.

“We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.”
–Will Rogers

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Okay, we all know Mavis Staples (The Staples Singers) is one of the best R&B/Gospel singers of the last 50 years, hands down. A voice like warm honey and wine, with a little Brillo pad in there when she wants to use it.

But who knew she was hilarious?

Yesterday, by chance I tuned in to NPR’s “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me” and caught her cracking everybody up with stories about her low voice, Bob Dylan proposing marriage, working with Martin Luther King, and Barack Obama.

It’s a great 17 minute joyride, and I highly recommend it for the amusement of your own personal self. The other ladies on the program (Carrie Fisher, and national opera treasure Fredericka von Stade) will also make you smile out loud.

Check it out!

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I love, absolutely love, that somebody would make a video of a song I recorded. I love it even more that he was so humble he didn’t even tell me. (Someone else did.)

“I Wish” was written by Dusty Drake, Frank Highland, Aaron Sain.

It’s on my double CD “The Grand Design.”

~ Greg

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Here’s an interview I did recently with emPower Music and Arts, about living the humor lifestyle. (A great website and resource, by the way.)

Greg,sharing laughter sounds like a pretty fantastic job description, but I bet it’s harder than it looks. What is the creative process like for you?

It’s best in the shower. I pretty much just stay in the shower all day. It’s hard on the skin, but I never have to use deodorant.

Okay, seriously. (Sort of.) I do like to let creativity come and not try to force it. Relaxed moments are the best for that. But even more important is having the attitude of not trying to take things seriously, and always looking for humor opportunities. It’s a mindset you consciously adopt. Eventually it becomes a habit.

One good exercise is to try never to give a serious answer to a question if you don’t have to. After a while people start finding you a lot more interesting.

When I’m writing songs with Richard Helm, we just sit and talk and have a tendency to be pretty silly. Song ideas bubble up from that, and if they make us laugh, we figure they’ll make other people laugh.

It seems to be working pretty well for you. Your music and humor inspires your fans. How have they inspired you?

By actually buying my stuff! They’ve allowed me to get away with doing this for a living. Plus they read my blog and newsletters and stay in touch and let me know when I’ve struck a chord, when I’m on the right track. They tell me stories of how the songs and humor have helped them.

One guy with cancer recently wrote me and said he took one of my funny CDs to treatment and laughed all the way through chemotherapy. That inspires you to do more, to want to help.

Still on the subject of inspiration, who have been the people who have inspired you most?

Gandhi. That guy was funny!

Just kidding. I grew up with friends and family much funnier than I am, so I kind of soaked it up from them. I was a serious little kid, but I observed that not being serious was more fun. So I made that intention. I think all of us are naturally playful, we just un-learn it. So sometimes we have to re-learn it, like I did.

Role models for funny songwriting are John Prine, Randy Newman, Steve Goodman, Jim Stafford, Loudon Wainwright, Ray Stevens.

What about those days when inspiration fails? We all have days where we’re down, we’re discouraged and don’t want to get out of bed. How do you fight off the blues?

I sleep with a pet skunk. Getting out of bed is no problem.

I don’t really get the blues much, but if I feel a little low I call somebody who’s fun to talk to. And I don’t talk about feeling down. Just the opposite. Connecting with somebody fun is all it takes.

The old gratitude list also works wonders. Very helpful.

Laughter is an integral part of your life, but is there ever a time when a little humor just isn’t going to be appropriate?

Yes, but I’m learning that those times are fewer than I used to think. I was on a plane next to two older ladies who were coming back from their sister’s funeral. They told me all about her, and were obviously grieving. I mentioned I had recently lost my dad, and had written a song for him. They asked what it was called and I said, “Chicken Soup For The Dead.” They stared at me in shock for a second and then just cracked up. Totally lost it. All that pent up emotion came out as laughter, and I could tell they really needed it. For them, it was a gift.

Five days after 9/11, something similar happened. I was speaking at a church Sunday morning, and everybody had been watching TV all week, filling their heads with those horrible images. They were totally depressed and shellshocked. I wasn’t sure what to do, but I winged it and gave a lesson about focusing on what we can actually control, using some funny songs to illustrate that. To this day, I have never had an audience laugh harder. They really needed that release.

You’ve become an expert, it seems, at reading your audience and seeing what they need to hear. What’s the toughest venue/crowd you’ve ever played?

A celebrity charity event of NFL players, spouses and girlfriends. The organizer insisted she pick the songs, and the ones she picked were completely wrong for that audience. I was bombing so badly on stage my mouth went totally dry and I couldn’t form the words I was trying to sing. I was praying just to be able to finish and get off the stage.

It sounds funny now, and it worked out okay. They paid me a lot of money to learn a valuable lesson: never give up creative control.

You’ve received many awards for best songs and best humor. What accomplishment are you most proud of?

At the risk of repeating myself, getting away with doing this for a living. That, and winning a La-Z-Boy recliner on a TV game show.

Okay! So when you have some down time and are relaxing in that La-Z-Boy, what are you planning? What are your future goals?

To inflict myself, in a good way, on as many people as possible. I’m also always hoping to write a really great song. One that makes a difference to a lot of people. It might be fun to start an award for using humor in a very creative, helpful way. To honor people who do that.

Greg, thank you for being with us. I’ll ask one last question and then we’ll let you go. We just celebrated April Fool’s day. What is your best April Fool’s day joke ever?

The one I always remember was when I was a kid. My mom, who was not a practical joker and who never fixed breakfast for us kids because she worked, got up early and made pancakes. But she put a piece of round cloth in each pancake so you couldn’t cut through them. We were young and took forever to figure it out, and she got a huge kick out of that. Then we couldn’t wait for dad to wake up so we could watch her do it to him. I saw a whole new side of my mom, and learned all about practical jokes. Maybe that’s what started me down the road to silliness.

And we are all grateful for the road you’ve taken. Thank you again for taking the time to talk with us.

Thank you.

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The following words are a tiny sample of over 2,035 (!) that were introduced (invented, coined) by one person. Do you know, or can you guess who made ‘em up? (Answer below…)

cranny

forefathers

aggragate (verb)

beautified

abstemious

antipathy

critical

dwindle

extract

horrid

vast

excellent

eventful

barefaced

assassination

lonely

leapfrog

indistinguishable

well-read

zany

and countless others, including “countless.”

This person was especially prolific at attaching the prefix “un” to words to form previously unconsidered forms:

unmask, unlock, untie, unhand, unveil…..and over 300 others.

So who was this uncanny wordsmith?

To be, or not to be the correct answer….That is the question….

William Shakespeare

(Source: Shakespeare, The World as Stage, by Bill Bryson)

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Some cogent thoughts and quotes from the just-finished Science and Consciousness Conference in Santa Fe, featuring Jean Houston, Sam Keen, Matthew Fox, Raymond Moody, Peter Russell, and others. (I emceed and inflicted myself on everybody in a comedy concert.)

Jean Houston is the great-granddaughter of both Sam Houston and Robert E. Lee. (Presumably not together. I’m pretty sure science wasn’t quite that far along in the 1900s.)

People of sustained creativity are usually high sensates, high kinesthetic people. Mental sensory games develop imagery and stimulate creativity. Exercise: imagine sensing all kinds of things using, variously: taste, smell, touch, hearing. It’s a springboard to creativity. (Jean H.)

In Bhutan, Gross National Happiness is valued over Gross National Product. (Peter R.)

Usury (lending money at interest) was banned in every major religion in the world at some point. (Peter R.)

The Martingale Fallacy in gambling: If you lose, double your bet. If you keep losing, keep doubling your bet until you win a bet and you’ll be even. Then start again and hope for a winning streak. The fallacy is that this strategy doesn’t account for a long losing streak that wipes you out so you have no more money to bet. Something similar has happened in the financial world. (Peter R.)

(I think a lot of people use this strategy for relationships too….)

Consumerism is the fallacy that whatever you bought made you feel happier. But ignores the fact that you feel better because you created a feeling of lack in the first place. We find all kinds of things to be discontented about, and we have advertising to remind us of and reinforce the feeling. Stop the feeling of lack, and the need to buy stuff just to feel better is gone. (Peter R.)

(This gave me a cool song idea: “It’s A Great Time To Be Amish.”)

Our right brains (the creative, artistic, spiritual, big picture side) are usually less active, and our educational system and use of language promote this trend. (Diane Hennacy Powell)

Wisdom is the marriage of knowledge and art. (Matthew Fox)

The 21st century word for justice is “sustainability.” (Matthew Fox)

“Retirement,” no. “Refirement,” yes. (Matthew Fox)

$38,000 is spent per second on weapons around the world. (Matthew Fox)

Celtic saying: “Never give a young man a loaded gun who has not learned to dance.” (Matthew Fox)

More from Matthew Fox:

• St. Augustin: “Spirit is whatever is not matter.”
• Physicist David Bohm: “Matter is frozen light.”
• The universal word for spirit in traditions is “light.”
• Science is now melting the dualism.

Therapist Joanne Woodward in Toronto: If an image is 1,000 volts, an archetype is 100,000 volts. (Matthew Fox)

Green light (e.g. from trees) is the most beneficial to humans. (Leonid Sharashkin)

Warfare is not genetic, it’s not in our hardware. It’s in our software. It’s rooted in our socially constructed narratives and myths. This type of myth is like a post-hypnotic suggestion. (Sam Keen)

Why do we love war? Several reasons:

• It makes reality easy for us: good vs evil, us vs them. Evil has a source and can be eliminated.
• War is rooted in longing for a utopian society.
• God is with US. So all war becomes holy war. Killing becomes a sacrament by our sacrifice.
• War allows us to feel we’re part of a large drama. Gives us meaning.
• We buy the myth of redemptive justice.
• There’s a heroic aspect. Males are given identity and rites of passage, taught obedience to authority, discipline.
• Promises sexual availability to enemy women once conquered.
• We buy the myth that war is the protector of the innocent.
• War is good for business. War profits are enormous, and enrich MANY of us.
• War unifies us. Suicide rates always go down in wartime. Relieves the boredom of civilian life.
• Patriotism becomes idolatry.
• War is spectacle, like huge natural disasters or events.
• War is adventure in a strange land.
• War allows soldiers (and civilians, vicariously) to exercise God-like power of life and death. It’s intoxicating.
• Allows the joy of destruction.
• Allows the exercise of forbidden sadistic impulses, a vacation from civility. (Abu Ghraib)
• It validates our claim to superiority. (Sam Keen)

Dealing with the shadow is not a pleasant process. We have to die from the old mythology in order to be reborn. The habit of warfare is nearly universal. But it’s not in our genes, it’s in our stories. (Sam Keen)

A “Just War” is usually just war. (Sam Keen)

Moral courage is more rare than physical courage. (Sam Keen)

And finally….

In two days, tomorrow will be yesterday, but it will still be Now.

© 2009 Greg Tamblyn

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Here, for a little uplift in the downturn, are a few of my favorite funny observations. There are lots more where these came from, and I’ll post ‘em periodically…

• “I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.” - Will Rogers
• “More people are killed every year by pigs than by sharks, which shows you how good we are at evaluating risk.” - Bruce Schneier
• “They all laughed when I said I wanted to become a professional comedian, but no one’s laughing now.” - Bob Monkhouse
• “I have known a great many troubles in my life, most of which never happened.” - Mark Twain
• “The first thing you learn in life is you’re a fool. The last thing you learn is you’re the same fool. Sometimes I think I understand everything. Then I regain consciousness.” -Ray Bradbury
• “If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.” - Will Rogers
• “Since everything is none other than exactly as it is, one may well just break out in laughter.” - Long Chen Pa
• “If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything” - Mark Twain
• “The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, ‘Is there a meaning to music?’ My answer would be, ‘Yes.’ And ‘Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?’ My answer to that would be, ‘No.’” -Aaron Copland
• “If only I had a little humility, I’d be perfect.” - Ted Turner
• “If there’s anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.”
  - Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Keep Smiling!

Greg

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The Navajo have a unique tradition which, to me, sums up everything good and noble about us humans.

When a baby is born, it is regarded as the ultimate, precious gift and must never be abused. From the moment of birth, the child is watched over continuously by family and friends, who patiently wait for the child’s first… laugh.

Why do they do this?

See if you can guess the answer.

(Hint: It’s not to see if the baby is a good future audience for Navajo Comedy Clubs….)

It’s because the baby’s first laugh marks its birth as a social being.

That….is beautiful. And so is what happens next.

Whichever brother, sister, parent, cousin, aunt, uncle, or passing acquaintance is present at the first laugh is deemed to have caused it. (Even if he or she is not commonly considered comical.) The laughter instigator then receives the honored privilege of preparing a special ceremony to welcome the child into society.

(It’s also believed the infant takes on some of the traits of this person. So all new parents might want to give some thought to “who’s minding the baby.”)

The First Laugh Ceremony is a party where guests bearing plates of freshly cooked food slowly pass in front of the new, first-time laughing child. They do not do this to tempt the infant with appetizing aromas of fry bread and pinto beans. Quite the opposite.

The baby (with some help, of course) places a pinch of salt on the food of each person as a symbolic act of generosity. The salt is said to rekindle and sustain the goodness in each recipient, and is considered the first in a lifetime of generous acts by the child.

This inspiring tradition has a few lessons for us:

• We’re social beings, thriving mainly in the company and support of others.
• Generosity is a noble virtue, best instilled from birth.
• Opportunities to celebrate generosity remind us of and regenerate our goodness.
• An act of kindness raises the endorphins of not only the receiver, but also of the giver, and of everyone who witnesses it.
• Genuine, heartfelt laughter is an act of generosity!

Celebrating laughter and generosity is a suspiciously healthy activity any time, but especially when the stress gremlins are lurking.

I might humbly suggest, at the very least, a party.

If I can help your organization celebrate (and de-stress!) with a Comedy Keynote Concert, please feel free to get in touch.

“Laughter,” said Victor Borge, “is the shortest distance between two people.”

© 2009 Greg Tamblyn, Motivational Humorist and Laughter Lover

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