May

Weird World: Holidays

Posted by admin under UP

These days we hear a lot about becoming good citizens of the world. In that spirit, I’m proclaiming my solidarity by celebrating all the national holidays of every country. This means from now on I’ll only be working two days a year. I hope you’ll join me in this respectful recognition of our planetary unity.

A few of my favorites:

Japan: Hadaka Matsuri, The Naked Festival, January 14. Large groups of men (groups of large men?) strip down to sumo-type loincloths and run around town for a few hours. At midnight they head for the local Shinto temple where if they catch a piece of wood dropped from the ceiling by a priest they’ll have good luck for a year. (One word of explanation for this: sake.)

Mongolia: Naadam Festival, July 11-13. Three day holiday for “the manly games of horse racing, archery, and Mongolian wrestling.” (Women compete too, except in the manly wrestling.)

Belarus: Ivana Kupala Day, July 7. Celebrates ancient beliefs about fertility and autopurification. Young women and men don wreaths, sing, dance, jump through fire, and swim naked. (Not sure in which order this happens.)

Liberia: Matilda Newport Day, December 1. Parties and feasts to honor a widowed pioneer who lit a cannon with her pipe in 1822 and saved her country from a siege by tribespeople. (The descendants of the tribespeople don’t like this one.)

Russia: Conception Day, Sept. 12. To counteract the declining population, everybody gets a day off to stay home, have sex, and create babies. Couples who successfully produce a baby 9 months later win an SUV, a refrigerator or a television. (Lingerie stores reportedly do a ton of business.)

India: Holi Festival of Colors, 2 days in late February or early March. Partly celebrates young Krishna who had an eye for the babes and was quite a prankster. Men and women run around spraying each other with colored powders, frequently drenched by water dumped on them from various balconies. Drumming and dancing, wild and rowdy, being one of the few times when the sexes and castes are allowed to mix freely. (If you don’t cover yourself with oil first, you may be wearing the powder for weeks.)

Japan: Coming of Age Day, 2nd Monday in January. “All people who turned 20 during the last year are congratulated. Cities and towns hold ceremonies with alcoholic beverages, which are the privilege of adults.” (We’re back to sake.)

Spain (Bunyol): La Tomatina. Aug. 27. World’s largest tomato fight. 30 thousand people pelt each other for two hours until 125,000 tomatoes are exploded. Celebrates a spontaneous food fight during a 1945 parade. (Might want to bring a change of clothes.)

United States: Halloween, October 31. Groups of scary costumed children extort enormous quantities of ADD-inducing substances (known as “candy”) from terrorized neighbors. Reportedly this custom is spreading to other countries. The following day is a state holiday in Louisiana, probably to peel the kids off the ceiling.

Citizens of the world, it’s going to be a busy year. Better get in shape!

(You can find videos of some of these festivals if you search YouTube. For Group Travel opportunities with Greg, click here.)