How To Be Funny (from someone who had to learn it)

Some people have asked me lately how to be funny, and my first response used to be, “How the heck should I know — I’m not funny.” But on the other hand, people have been laughing at me a lot lately. So maybe I can offer some clues.

Great starting points are surprise and absurdity. Like seeing two things together that don’t belong together. In a little town north of Sacramento there’s a building by the highway with two businesses in it: a mortuary and an espresso shop. Think of the marketing possibilities: “Coffee to die for.” Or “Our coffee can wake the dead!”

Speaking of food and things that don’t go together, I’m more than a little queasy about this new trend of putting fast food joints inside filling stations. Like a Taco Bell inside a Texaco, for example. I keep having this vision of some mechanic with 30-weight oil on his hands making my tostada. Talk about stopping for gas! (Ba da bump.)

Exaggeration can be very effective. My writing partner Richard Helm and I started getting together in Nashville for the sole purpose of writing weird songs, just to entertain ourselves and take a break from trying to write formula hits. Sometimes we laugh all through a session just from taking an idea to extremes.

In our song, “Self-Employment Made Harder By Difficult Boss,” (inspired by an article by my brother Jeff), the singer applies all the usual complaints about bosses to himself. He doesn’t pay himself enough, he doesn’t give himself enough time off, he makes fun of himself behind his own back, and he sends himself too many interoffice memos. He even sues himself for sexual harassment. Finally he works it all out and feels he has a good chance for “employee of the year.” It’s pretty silly, but an audience favorite because there’s some truth in there. It’s just taken to extremes. That’s another aspect of humor: some of it works precisely because it really sets off your truth meter.

The title of that song is a good example of wordplay. Words are a great source of fun, like “The Shootout at the I’m OK, You’re OK Corral.” (Again, two things that don’t belong together.) That song title alone has snared me lots of bookings. Other famous song title examples are “I’d Rather Have a Bottle in Front of Me Than a Frontal Lobotomy,” “I’m So Miserable Without You, It’s Like You Were Here,” and “She Was Pure As The New Fallen Snow, But She Drifted.” (Nobody is better at wordplay than country songwriters.) If you’re a word person, try putting together words in new ways, or making up your own.

It helps to decide to adopt a humor mindset. Look for oddities. Decide to keep your mind tuned to the humor wavelength. Walk around smiling like you’ve just heard or seen something funny, and people will think you’re funny. Or at least fun. As Bernie Siegel suggests, look at the world through the eyes of a child, see the absurdities, then comment on them. Read the comics. Collect jokes. Save funny thoughts and ideas. Share them with people. Get used to doing it. Find stuff that makes you laugh and wallow in it. Movies, books, cartoons, writers. Keep a humor journal.

Think of your most embarrassing moments. Keep a mental file so you can bring them up at appropriate times. Ditto with other weird stories from your life. Self-effacing humor is the most connecting.

One of my friends always has some embarrassing story about herself. She told me about getting served a meal on a plane (two things that certainly don’t go together any more), and because she was sitting between two huge people there was no room for her arms. She couldn’t cut her food because her elbows kept banging into her breasts. That’s a great visual. And she’s got big, beautiful….laughter. (You thought I was going to say “breasts,” didn’t you! See, you were surprised.) A great laugh is a great asset. People like to be around good laughers, because it makes us laugh. It’s contagious. So don’t hold back. Laugh big.

You don’t have to always come up with the perfect line or just the right funny idea to say in every situation. But if you stay relaxed and don’t try too hard, you’ll come up with your share. You can be “sneaky” funny. When you unexpectedly blow one in there every so often, people will think you’re even funnier than you are, because they don’t expect it. (This pretty much sums up my whole career.)

I grew up with lots of friends who are much funnier and quicker than I am, including both of my brothers. Once or twice at a show I was introduced as a comedian, and I had to put a screeching halt to that, because it changes expectations. Real, professional comedians have brains from another planet. They’re wired differently, like they’re on permanent speed. So I use the word “humorist.” A humorist is a person who thinks slower than a comedian.

However, I have noticed that for some reason my ability to be funny increases when I’m on stage. I once heard George Carlin say that his comedy shows are like a stage play, he does them the exact same way every time. One thing this does is relax you, because you know what you’re going to say. Then some other, unused part of your brain is free to be playful and spontaneous, occasionally surprising you with a good line.

Knowing what you’re going to say on stage also helps you become good at repeatedly telling the same story in a way that’s funny. Sort of like an actor. It’s a skill you can develop, even if you’re not a performer.

A doctor friend of mine is a very funny guy to be around, and also a hilarious speaker and performer. He’s quick, good with words, has wild ideas, and loves to instantly change your state of mind by saying what you least expect at any moment. Sometimes you can see a little Cosby or Groucho in his delivery, so you know he’s paid attention to funny people. He’s also good at telling and retelling stories. But for all his funniness, he cannot tell, or even remember jokes. It’s amazing. He has what I call “joke disability.” It’s really bad. He just can’t remember them. And if he does try to retell one that I’ve just told him, it bombs. It’s not funny, except that it’s funny that he can’t do it. So we laugh about that. But he doesn’t need jokes. He’s great at spontaneous humor, and telling stories from his own life. So he plays to his strengths.

Another author and speaker friend who loves humor incorporates it into his shows in different kinds of ways: slides of cartoons, puns, and funny stories. Plus he’s great at telling jokes. It’s very effective. You play to your strengths.

So decide to have the humor mindset. Start slow, and build a little every week. Just figure out what entertains you, and share that with people. Remember to relax–let it come. Trying too hard to be funny will blow it every time. I’ve gotten some great laughs by just smiling when people were expecting a line. It’s better sometimes to just be silent and let them think you’re brilliant.

© 2008 Greg Tamblyn, Motivational Humorist and occasional funny person.