Are You Chimp Or Bonobo?

Sometimes I’m an idiot
Many of you know that by now
Sometimes I am not
But that is not as clear somehow
– (John Gorka, “Shape of the World”)

Whenever I come across some fact it seems like I should have filed away in my cranium, but for some reason isn’t there, I get reminded how incredibly much I don’t know. This is frequently followed by the above tune, which IS filed away in my head, amusing me on a mental replay loop. It’s a good reminder to stay humble. (Great Gorka song too, by the way…)

And so it was recently at the fabulous new Hall of Human Origins at the American Museum in New York.

I wandered around enthralled by all the lifelike reproductions of extinct human and primate species, so many more than I knew about. (One of them looked a lot like the older kid who used to sit on my chest and thump it when I was seven. I admit for a split second I hoped it WAS him, stuffed.) Anyway, it was fascinating to actually see all the different species of “humans” who existed at the same time.

And we’re the only ones who made it out alive. So far.

But back to my point. Scoping out the DNA exhibit, I learned that the living apes most closely related to us include not only chimps, but also bonobos. What? Okay, I did actually know we share 99% of our DNA with chimps, but bonobos? I confess my ignorance. I was clueless.

If somebody’d asked me, like on Jeopardy, I would have guessed they were some kind of food. Maybe a tropical fruit. Or a pastry.

But nope, they’re apes. They’re also known as Pygmy Chimps, are endangered, and found only in the Congo. They even look a bit more like us than chimps do, because their legs are proportionately longer.

But here’s the interesting difference. Chimp society is dominated by the males, and their overwhelming urge is to be top banana. This gets established in the usual way of course: by fighting. And occasionally by killing each other.

Bonobos, on the other hand, are more laid back. Status is much less of a big deal. The females keep things organized and peaceful. Food tends to be shared, and if conflicts arise, they’re usually settled by (and I happily quote the museum here) “play and sex.”

This strikes me as way more civilized, and a LOT more fun

(And something we should insist on using in Congress, don’t you think? C-Span would be infinitely more interesting. It could probably even become a premium channel, like Showtime.)

So in your life, which are you? Chimp or Bonobo?

If you (or people you love) have been exhibiting some Type A-ness lately, you might want to contact your inner bonobo and try a more “evolved” form of conflict management.

Here’s the link to the exhibit at the American Museum.

© 2008 Greg Tamblyn, Motivational Humorist and Bonobo Cousin