“A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.”
- Bert Leston Taylor.
One of the best things you can give anybody is a little humor jolt when they’re not expecting it. This also does wonders for your own personal endorphin levels. One easy way to do this is to try not to give a serious answer to any question you don’t have to.
And what’s the most common question you get asked every day? It’s some version of “How are you?”
I know what you’re thinking: “But what if I can’t think of anything funny?”
No worries. That’s why I’m here!
A lot of times, “funny” just means “ready.” So for today, we’re coming up with some fun answers to the world’s most common question: “How are you?” Or its popular American cousins, “How ya doin’?” and “How’s it goin’?”
Most of us get asked this question a dozen times a week or more, and we answer habitually. Not only that, most people don’t even want an honest answer because it might be….negative! So we respond with “fine” or “good” or something equally mundane.
But if people ask “how are you?” and you come back with something wacky, they love it. They smile. They remember you. They give you free cookies on the airplane. Sometimes they change their wills and leave you loads of money. (This hasn’t actually happened yet, but I’m hopeful…)
So here’s the deal. Read through the short list of my answers below, then take 10 minutes and brainstorm your own short list. (Even just a couple.) Add ‘em in the comments section below. Let’s see how many great ones we can come up with. At the end of the month I’ll choose one as a “winner.” If that clever person is you, you’ll receive, absolutely free of charge, your own authentic, collectible “Analog Brain in a Digital World” t-shirt (also a great conversation starter, more on that in a future post), PLUS whichever two CDs of mine you’d like. (Already got my CDs and t-shirt? Think holiday gifts.)
But everyone will be a winner, because we will have injected some fun into our days with this little game, which we can continue to inflict on everyone we meet by simply having a few of our favorite answers at the ready!
Here we go:
HOW ARE YOU?
- “Parts of me are excellent.” (My current favorite.)
- “In the flow, babe.”
- “Great from the neck down.” (If I have a cold.)
- “Still a bag of happy atoms.”
- “Moderately bewildered.
- “Part pizza, part beer.”
- “I’m so broke I can’t pay attention, but I got plenty o’ love.”
- “Bizarre, yet weird.”
- “Still dangerous.” (Thanks to Bowen White for this one.)
- “The important parts are fully functional.”
- “Metaphorically or virtually?”
- “I just answered that on Twitter. Don’t you get my tweets?”
Okay – your turn. Cut loose!
(If you haven’t commented on this blog before, your comment won’t appear for a few minutes until it gets approved by admin – meaning me. Patience, grasshopper!)
Â© 2010 Greg Tamblyn