Thoughts On The Toilet Tissue Issue
Recently at Christmas I overheard three of my nephews griping about the toilet paper in their college dorms. Their chief complaint was their school’s cheap tissue is too chafing.
(This is not a subject you would normally bring up at Christmas or in mixed company, but they are, after all, boys in college. And to their credit, the females were on the other side of the room. Also, I was impressed that they knew what “chafing” meant. Obviously, these are college dollars well spent.)
Another gripe was the toilet paper is too flimsy, so they have to use way more of it than the good stuff, which they are certain is costing their university a lot more than would buying better bunwad. (My word, not theirs. I never wrote the word “bunwad” before and I just wanted to see how it felt.)
Anyway, this got me reflecting on the classic conundrum of HOW toilet paper should be mounted on the wall, and the gratifying way that problem was solved for me. This may be something you too have struggled with, and have always wondered about. Not that it’s kept you up at night or anything, but somehow nobody ever mentioned it or you were absent that day in school or whatever. If so, your days of confusion are over.
On the other hand, maybe your mother taught you to mount the toilet paper one way, and one way only, and so for you that was final. My own personal mother, as it happens, is quite hygenic – almost anally so (is that an oxymoron?) – but for some reason she never once mentioned this fundamental piece of housekeeping. Which now that I think about it is astonishing. She certainly let us know the exact right perfect way to do everything else. I feel it was an oversight in our upbringing. (Note to self: Ask Mom why she omitted specific instructions about the tissue issue.)
But back to the basic problem, which is this: do you mount the roll so that it dispenses from the rear, dropping down next to the wall, or do you mount it so the paper comes over the top and unrolls away from the wall?
Before I give you the correct answer and the expert who clarified this for everybody, everywhere and forever, I want you to think about it for a minute. One might argue that the first option is better because the paper unrolls close to the wall and is thus slightly neater and tidier, but possibly a little harder to reach, harder to touch only the paper you want, and harder to tear cleanly. And we all know how frustrating it is to tear the tissue in the middle of a sheet.
Whereas with the second option (outward and over the top, which could apply to this whole blog post) it’s a bit easier to reach, but with a greater chance of spinning the roll out of control, unleashing several yards of toilet paper cascading over the bathroom floor, leaving you with the difficult decision of whether to re-roll it back onto the spool (even though it’s impossible to ever make that look right) or to just gather it all up and throw it away. Which seems wasteful.
It’s a tough choice, I know, but what do you think?
For the one or two of you still reading at this point, here is the correct answer:
The toilet paper should be mounted so that the paper comes over the top and away from the wall.
“Ha!” you say. How can I be so cocksure this is the proper mode of installation?
Because a long time ago on The Tonight show I heard Jerry Lewis expound at length on this very subject while he was guest-hosting for Johnny Carson. I can’t exactly recall his precise arguments right this very minute, but I can assure you he was adamant. He was dead certain the toilet paper should come over the top, away from the wall. And I figure if anybody knows about toilet paper – if anybody should have the final word on toilet paper – it would be Jerry Lewis. So for me, case closed.
As an example of how this can play out, years ago I lived with my brother and his wife for a few months and we shared a bathroom. They always had the toilet paper mounted the wrong way, so whenever I answered the call of nature, I switched it around to the right way. Incredibly, neither of them ever mentioned this. They never brought it up or asked me why I turned the toilet paper around. Instead, they quietly switched it back. I always thought that was weird.
I always hoped one of them would say something. I thought it would be fun to let them know that Jerry Lewis had made the definitive statement on this. (Plus, you would naturally want to be prepared in case Jerry ever dropped by for a visit or an inspection.) But sadly, I never got that opportunity. Maybe now one of them will read this blog post and we can finally bring that dark episode of family history out of the closet.
(By the way, I would never switch the toilet paper at anybody’s house except a family member. That would just be rude.)
One final thing. I once participated in a humor workshop where the leader told us to divide ourselves into two groups: crumplers and folders. We all looked at each other blankly, with no idea what he meant, until he yelled, “People, I’m talking toilet paper!”
It was more than we wanted to know about each other, but funny.
© 2012 Greg Tamblyn
January 25th, 2012 at 11:07 am
Greg, only you could take such a topic and make it a delight to read. I am admittedly outward and over-the-top, and Maria was raised to go backwards. God love her – she’s agreeable enough to use it either way. But it’s interesting that we’ve had “the conversation” on the tissue issue.
Thanks for sharing your humorous perspective on life!
January 25th, 2012 at 11:12 am
Steve, so cool you’ve had the conversation! I’m wondering how many couples have had it. Thanks.
January 25th, 2012 at 11:12 am
Greg, have you never owned a cat? (Well, maybe nobody ever really does.) If you mount the toilet paper so it comes over the top, the cat can amuse himself for several minutes unspooling it all over the bathroom! It’s the same posture and motion as scratching a tree, but the result is so much more amusing!
Joe Haldeman
January 25th, 2012 at 11:15 am
I once used a public restroom at a resturant where the paper was under instead of over. Someone had apparently ripped through the paper while using it and when they grabbed more paper a fresh mark of feces was left behind. I am an inspector by nature. I do not like coming into contact with anybodies body secretions so I was disgusted. I pondered that the CORRECT method over the roll was better because your fingers do not accidently touch the wall. So at my home all must use the over the roll method. After that horrible incident.
January 25th, 2012 at 11:17 am
What a great topic – think it would be appropriate to bring this up at an Assisted Living Facility? I am a clown (a REAL clown) and visit ALF’s a couple times a month – next time I go, I’m going to put this question out there! Thanks for the idea!
January 25th, 2012 at 11:20 am
Joe, good point – cats – I guess if I owned a cat I’d do the same, however, dogs only & they don’t unravel the “over the top” TP in my house.
January 25th, 2012 at 11:26 am
Joe – excellent point! The Cat Issue never occurred to me. Being more of a dog person, my experience is more with chewed-up tissue. And of course, if a dog is gonna chew the paper, s/he doesn’t care which way it’s mounted.
Thanks for this important insight.
January 25th, 2012 at 11:28 am
Jane, what a terrible public restroom experience! Another great reason for over the top. Thanks!
January 25th, 2012 at 11:29 am
Nancy – another situation I never thought of – assisted living. Of course! Thanks.
January 25th, 2012 at 11:38 am
Thanks for the chuckles.
One other reason to do it the right way: when you have a tiled recessed holder, a full roll with hanging tissue will get damp whenever you take a shower as the cool tile collects condensation. What’s the point of damp tissue when you are trying to take care of “number one”?
Yeah, the cat concern can be a problem (the corrollary is toddlers); but that’s what training is for. They (cats and growing children) must be properly socialized to the correct way to install the toilet paper and treat with the proper respect.
You, Greg must have received the proper socialization from your mother without explicit teaching. The knowledge was implicit like much of what we learn about how the world works. If you think back, I am sure you can think of much you learned from your mother that she never explicitly taught you.
January 25th, 2012 at 11:42 am
Oh — and apparently numerous couples had the conversation. In the 70′s I recall Ann Landers (I was a kid fan) ran what seemed like months of letters on the tissue issue with couples arguing between themselves over the right way. Couples seemed at the point of divorce over the issue.
January 25th, 2012 at 11:44 am
Thanks Dineen, I’m sure my mom taught me a ton of stuff I still don’t realize. (And some of it I’m still trying to un-learn…)
I’m still gonna ask her about her tissue philosophy though. Surely she’ll have an opinion. She has one on everything.
Cheers!
January 25th, 2012 at 11:46 am
Dineen, that’s very cool about Ann Landers. Wow. I feel so much better about this topic already.
January 25th, 2012 at 11:47 am
I just typed and accidentally deleted it all…I assume not sent? Okay trying again…brief boyfriend yelled at me about how to put the toilet paper on. That was the first time I realized it was an issue.
My real concern is when there is none, but I must admit I do prefer forward because touching a wall is yucky when you let yourself think about it. Having cats for many years, I have been lucky they have not discovered TP.
I do think I must ponder the issue of always ending up in the bathroom (at work/friends/home) when the roll only has one square left. What is the Universe trying to tell me? Or are my expectations being met because I assume I am always the one to have to put a new roll on?
I’m not afraid to share…I crumple.
January 25th, 2012 at 11:49 am
I’ve always been an against the wall TP person. However, my condo bathroom came with a TP recess on the cabinet to the left of the toilet (against the wall); and a second one on the wall directly across and facing the (ahem) sitter, just within arms reach. That one I keep over the top. I use whichever one strikes my mood or need at the time, and sometimes both! Any visitors may happily make their own choices.
January 25th, 2012 at 11:57 am
Shelly – more good insights! Issue with the boyfriend! One square left at the friends’ house! Wonder what Miss Manners would say about how to handle that? Thanks.
January 25th, 2012 at 11:58 am
Sally – TWO spool holders in ONE bathroom? You are really living the lifestyle of the rich and famous. What luxury!
January 25th, 2012 at 12:12 pm
I have given this issue much thought and research over the past forty years. What I’ve discovered is there is no right answer – given only those two choices.
The answer was obvious. Create a TT holder turned 90 degrees from the norm. Problem solved. It was that simple.
Unfortunately I’m now faced with a new problem…
Left or right?
BTW – although YOU would never turn the TT around in a non-family member’s house, I think that’s a GREAT idea. Rattle their cage. Make them think. I love it and will now dedicate the next forty years of my life to this. I could create a movement around it.
Umm…is that a bad choice of words?
January 25th, 2012 at 12:17 pm
Stan – profound thoughts and feedback. The situation is never quite solid is it? It’s kinda fluid, more to deal with than you think, one thing leads to another…
I like your movement. I’m joining.
January 25th, 2012 at 12:22 pm
Greg, so glad you brought up this serious dilemma – haha! My cat didn’t and doesn’t unroll the paper but my dog did…figure that one out.
Of course over the top is easier to use hands down so I guess it’s what you grew up with makes it the “proper”method, si? Love your sense of humor…
January 25th, 2012 at 12:27 pm
Hands down, indeed, Salome! Hands down…
January 25th, 2012 at 1:17 pm
You know Greg, I’m kinda wondering. Has this become a global issue – like the economy? Or is it even bigger than that?
I haven’t seen anything about it on CNN about it. Why is that? Do you think maybe it’s just TOO big and painful to get out there right now.
if that IS the case, I feel reassured by the words…
“This too shall pass.”
I was also thinking in the meantime perhaps we need 12 Step groups for some quick relief. I’ll have to ponder this some more, but it’ll have to wait because I really gotta go.
Viva la movement!
And may you always be in the flow.
That doesn’t sound quite right, but oh – oh – oh, I gotta go…
January 25th, 2012 at 1:23 pm
I have to admit, my life is so busy that I never noticed which way the toilet paper was unspooling, I was just always grateful that we hadn’t run out, LOL!
The very first time I even heard of the Great Toilet Paper Unspooling Controversy, I was already in my 30′s! It was in a lecture with His Holiness Swami Satchidananda. The good swami was talking about being conscious, and how it was a mark of higher consciousness to install the toilet paper roll the “right” way.
I was immediately horrified. “OMG” I thought , “there is a WRONG way to do that? Is this another thing I have been doing WRONG all these years???” (Do you detect the vestiges of having grown up in a critical household?)
I was so shocked and stressed and confused that I don’t even remember – and probably didn’t even understand, then – exactly which way the swami considered to be “correct.” I stressed about it for a couple of days, and then slid backwards to my errant ways.
Even now, I couldn’t tell you which way my current roll is installed.
But I can’t help myself, I’m a Pisces artist, when it comes to toilet paper, I am much less concerned about installation, and much more interested in something like this book (I kid you not, it’s on Amazon) “Toilet Paper Crafts for Holidays and Special Occasions: 60 Papercraft, Sewing, Origami and Kanzashi Projects.” Come to think of it, that book would make good bathroom reading!
January 25th, 2012 at 1:30 pm
I must admit you have caused me to revisit an issue i had put to bed years ago.
I bellieve an observation will quickly clear up this issue. If you use TP that has an embossed design on it you will notice that the over the top method displays the embossed figure in an upright position. For example, if it has an embossed flower the stem will be pointed downward. If you do the down the wall method, the emobossed figure on the roll will be upside down.
Once this was called to my attention many years ago i was able to move on with my life an concentrate on other issues.
The fact that this is still being debated in some circles causes me deep concern!
You did cause me to question myself and challenging long held beliefs is good for the soul i am told.
January 25th, 2012 at 1:32 pm
Meryl Ann – thanks for your always entertaining thoughts. Perspective is everything! I confess, however, I would love to know what the enlightened-Swami-correct-mode actually was.
And if he agreed with Jerry Lewis, would that mean Jerry was a secret swami?
January 25th, 2012 at 1:37 pm
In my lifetime I have had the opportunity to work as a housekeeper for a couple of motels. Not only were we taught to put the paper in the “over” position, we also learned how to crease the end piece into a point to impress the guests.
I recently took a tour of the west wing of the White House and during the tour used the bathroom there. It was in the evening, which might account for the fact that the toilet paper roll was empty.
Thanks to my intensive training at Toilet Tissue University, I knew just what to do. I was bold enough to look in the cabinet in the bathroom where I found a new roll, replaced the empty spool.
Before I left, I even made the elegant little point in the paper just because I knew how. Hopefully, the next guest was impressed with my expertise!
January 25th, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Greg, what a good laugh. I wonder what John T. Crapper, the original inventor of the “throne” would say? We are so fortunate to have paper for as you know in most parts of India and elsewhere it is right hand only(never try to shake hands). Folding by the way is the only way because if you are in to economy you can use it more than once. If you crumple it can get messy so I am told. For the next topic- Do you multi-task while on the throne ( out of respect I do not call it a John because I know several.
January 25th, 2012 at 1:58 pm
Jim – thanks for yet another important angle on this subtle subject. Embossing! Of course.
Let’s say, for example, you had – and I’m not suggesting for a minute that you should – a roll of Osama Bin Laden TP, with a picture of his face on each sheet. You would certainly want that right side up as it came off the roll. Full effect and all that.
Well done, Jim!
January 25th, 2012 at 2:03 pm
Anne, thanks for this riveting and revealing inner glimpse into the white house. It just shows that even the President is not fully on top of this issue. Perhaps because he and congress are trying to come to some agreement about it for all federal government bathrooms. In which case it could be months – even years – before we get a final compromise.
Thank also for the Motel/Hotel philosophy. Very instructive.
January 25th, 2012 at 2:04 pm
How about just hanging it from the ceiling?
Solves the “which way” question as well as the Inon-acrobatic) cat conundrum. Or, we could just wipe away the entire question and start again…
January 25th, 2012 at 2:07 pm
Larry – sadly I believe John T. Crapper’s original and cogent thoughts on the subject have been lost to history. We can only wonder and imagine what he would have recommended.
Good point about the folding for economy, too. Crumpling could be seen as more wasteful. However, as with most thing dexterous, I’m sure there is an art to crumpling that some skillful practitioners have mastered.
As for the third world, yes I’ve been there, and all I can say is Thank God for those little tiny travel packets of kleenex.
January 25th, 2012 at 2:09 pm
Hanging from the ceiling – interesting idea but maybe troublesome to change rolls easily? If you try it please post a photo and let us know how it comes out. (ouch.)
January 25th, 2012 at 2:29 pm
In the Orthodox Jewish tradition (perhaps Jerry Lewis was Orthodox?), there are requirements for how to do all kinds of everyday things…. including toilet paper…. I once heard this:
The roll should be mounted so that the paper comes over the top as a reminder that all things come from God above.
I’m not sure it’s true, but it works for me… and I think of this every time I put a new roll on…
January 25th, 2012 at 2:33 pm
Thanks Lyte – beautiful! Yet another viewpoint I never woulda thought of…
January 25th, 2012 at 2:57 pm
Ya know Greg personally I prefer the over the top method, but no matter which way ya hang it, as long as you wash your hands with soap and water after”wads” and use some of it to open the door when you’re finished ( especially in a public bathroom) I’ll be a happy camper!!!
January 25th, 2012 at 3:17 pm
Ah Terry, if only all the world was as hygienic as you! Thanks.
January 25th, 2012 at 4:32 pm
Our cats never play with the toilet paper. I would just like to point out that your nephews are lucky that their school provides tp because when I lived in the dorms we had to provide our own and as my suite and roommates found out it can be a bit of a drain on the budget sometimes.
As a side note I just want to mention that “Love Will Come Around” started playing in my posi playlist that is on shuffle as I finished this. Congrats again!
January 25th, 2012 at 4:52 pm
Sarah – funny you had to buy your own! Hard to believe all that tuition money wouldn’t cover the necessities. But at least you got to choose! (And presumably you chose the non-chafing variety…) Thanks.
January 25th, 2012 at 5:30 pm
I’ve heard this debated once. Our minister even included it in his talk one sunday (I can’t even remember the topic of the talk). I just hope I find the opportunity to make this into a speech at my toastmasters club.
January 25th, 2012 at 6:16 pm
It goes over the top because the user can’t see the end when it is set up the wrong way because it is facing the wall instead of the user
and it is almost always set up in a location that the user also can’t see that while looking for the end that can’t be seen, the paper is rolling down the wall and piling up on the floor.
January 25th, 2012 at 6:21 pm
Nora – yes – toastmasters! Let me know how it goes. Evidently everybody has an opinion on the tissue issue. Thanks!
January 25th, 2012 at 6:22 pm
Marlene, excellent point no one else mentioned yet – visibility! – Thanks.
January 25th, 2012 at 7:26 pm
Dear Greg–
I can’t believe I read the WHOLE THING, and just about my whole life flashed before my eyes–at least the part of it I’ve spent in bathrooms.
Dogs vs. Cats: Keep in mind that while cats love to unroll and shred tissue straight from the dispenser, dogs don’t mind if it has already been used. In fact, I suspect that some canines PREFER their tissue with a little extra flavor. Moral of that story is–don’t forget to flush! And don’t drop any wads in the waste can that you don’t want to have to meet up with again later after your dog has enjoyed them.
Cheap vs. fluffy: After a lifetime of trial and error I have decided that the 1000 sheet per roll will always be my personal choice. Why? Because it crumples so nicely, providing maximum effectiveness with minimum weight, and so the roll seems to last FOREVER and rarely does so much end up in the bowl that a plunger is required. Since I believe in natural healing I know that eventually, with persistence and faith, the relevant body parts toughen up and the chafing becomes becomes just a fading memory.
TIP: When next you find yourself out in the woods and unprepared, make sure you know what poison ivy looks like before you reach for that handy bunch of leaves.
FOLDING? I can’t really imagine that….and don’t want to.
And always remember…front to back, not back to front.
January 25th, 2012 at 7:45 pm
Wow Dana – this is almost a complete bathroom & toilet paper manual – funny, too – except I thought you were gonna say your whole life “flushed” before your eyes. – Thanks
January 25th, 2012 at 9:06 pm
Greg -
Wish you had posted this a few weeks ago before you visited us. I was always an “under” guy, but fortunately Sheryll cured me of that long time ago so I gues we passed the test. Mostly now I stick to rearranging the already loaded dishwasher!
January 25th, 2012 at 9:46 pm
I am so grateful to you, Greg for making light of an issue that has caused much pain.
When visiting my youngest daughter and her new husband and finding the roll mounted the “wrong” way, naturally I reversed it.(I hope you do not spend sleepless nights wondering which way was which, because I’m not gonna tell you!)
For all the years they were married (which was basically far too many) he carried a grudge against me about this unforgivable perpetration over his boundaries
When it was later discovered the man was bi-polar.and my daughter had to end the impossible marriage, I had some explanation of his reaction. But if I know the man, he will carry the grudge to the grave. Sigh! I can only view him with compassion.
I hope you all see now why this whole bathroom & toilet paper manual was so very necessary!
January 25th, 2012 at 11:13 pm
Hey Greg, we have toilet paper wars in our home. According to you, Jerry and my husband I prefer the “wrong” way. I have lived with cats and toddlers! Our son is on my side so our roll is frequently flipped. My son even considered writing one of his college application essays on the topic, when asked to discuss two different types of people. Then of course he considered that there are two types of people in the world those who use t.p. and those that don’t. Those that don’t greatly outnumber those of us that do. And water doesn’t chafe at all!
January 26th, 2012 at 1:08 am
Ron, you sound like the perfect husband. I’m glad Sheryll could train you with a minimum of fuss. – Thanks…
January 26th, 2012 at 1:10 am
Shira, that’s a funny/sad story. Hard to believe even a bipolar person could carry that grudge. Makes me wonder if my brother and/or his wife have any lingering resentment over my tissue-switching hijinks. Hopefully I’ll find out someday…
January 26th, 2012 at 1:12 am
Thanks Liz, your son sounds like a funny guy. And yes, I’m kinda surprised nobody’s brought up the bidet factor yet!
Cheers.
January 26th, 2012 at 11:19 am
Thank you for “cleaning” this up for everyone that doesn’t watch Oprah. That’s where I always learn right from wrong. And I Do change rolls in other’s homes, I feel I owe it to them.
Long live folders everywhere,
Ken
January 26th, 2012 at 11:40 am
Ken – ah yes, Oprah. This could be a whole show for her. Or maybe even better for Jerry Springer. Get all the warring factions involved. Thanks.
January 26th, 2012 at 1:04 pm
Over the top — always! Great blog! BTW…we met at UCFW. Glad I found your blog too.
January 26th, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Ahhh Greg…I finally got it.
Just like McDonalds offers a wide selection compared to days gone by, the answer to this conundrum is simple.
Over – under – left – right. No problem. Install FOUR TT holders so everyone can pick their favorite. You might have to get creative if space is tight, but in light of the severity of this problem, it’s definitely worth the effort.
The only thing missing is that blank stare and lifeless question, “Would you like fries with that?”
January 27th, 2012 at 1:55 am
Stan, I’d very much like to see a photo of your bathroom after you do this home improvement project.
Thanks.
January 27th, 2012 at 1:56 am
Thanks Claire – glad you found the blog! Cheers…
January 27th, 2012 at 8:18 pm
I am forwarding this to my sister, who is a “wall” person, while I am an “over the top” person, and I have raised a family of “over the toppers” who relish being the first one to flip their Auntie’s rolls. My prenuptial agreement had only two requirements: 1) My wife had to agree to change her last name to mine; 2) ALL paper products on rolls had to go over the top.
January 28th, 2012 at 1:43 am
Whut own Arth y’all talkin’ bout? Ain’t nobuddy never hard o’the Seers ‘n Rowbuk caterlog?
January 28th, 2012 at 1:47 am
Over, under, around, through, tied in a bow, folded, crumpled, thick, thin…
The only important parameter is its presence.
January 28th, 2012 at 7:25 am
Kevin, you’re a man after my own heart. Spoken like a true lawyer and trouble maker.
January 28th, 2012 at 7:26 am
MusiKen – of course. Profound. Simple.
January 29th, 2012 at 12:15 pm
Greg, HERE HERE!
Unlike you, I correct every roll of toilet paper I can to the correct “over” position, no matter where I’m at (I am keenly aware of which commercial toilet paper dispensers will and will not allow you to perform this manipulation). I’ve been doing this since I was a child. I wasn’t taught that. My mother was a horrible housekeeper, God love her (avid reader though) and didn’t have very many rules for such domestic things. It was intrinsic, it was natural law, it was feng shui, it was Realigning The Universe each time I corrected this. Also, every time I reverse the roll it makes me giggle at myself. I consider it my good deed for the day.
January 31st, 2012 at 9:30 am
I learned the proper positioning for TP years ago from my mother-in-law who learned it from Emily Post so you know it has to be right! I too reposition the roll when I visit someone who has it facing the wall and no one has ever thanked me either. We can only offer our silent sympathy for their ignorance.
I love your music and commentary!!!
January 31st, 2012 at 9:31 am
Diane – I love the way you think!
January 31st, 2012 at 9:35 am
Margaret – all you secret switchers – so cool – I love it. Time to start a club.
(Or as Stan put it so unforgettably, a “movement.”)
The Secret Society of Tissue Switchers
February 1st, 2012 at 8:50 pm
Thanks Greg. I am not really a blogger but I was drawn to this subject. While I am deviating from the original discussion, (kind of like inie and outie belly buttons) it may put the importance of this subject in a new light.
I just returned from a week at a ZEN meditation and yoga retreat in Costa Rica and since the tissue issue was a topic of serious consideration (and one that popped in while focusing on my breath), I feel compelled to share.
I am definitely an outie and have no qualms about making the switch. However, CR was my first experience of disposing of used toilet paper (I am a cruncher) somewhere other than the toilet. Gotta respect septic limitations. Puts it in perspective, doesn’t it? Thanks goodness they emptied the waste baskets every day.
February 1st, 2012 at 11:12 pm
Dayl – invaluable perspective – reminds me of some 3rd world experiences – and yeah, we take a lot for granted, even with TP.
February 2nd, 2012 at 8:22 am
Russians have their usual simple yet elegant solution to the TP roll dilemma, at least in their public bathrooms; they simply don’t stock TP in them. So, while I was there, I carried a backpack with me everywhere, primarily to hold a roll of American toilet paper, and also my camera. My backpack zippers were even secured with a small lock, to protect my TP and my camera, because my very first day in Russia, some young pickpockets got into my then unlocked backpack while I was walking down a busy sidewalk alongside Nevskii Prospekt (kind of the main drag through St. Petersburg) and lifted from my backpack a small pack of Kleenex (the kind you mentioned in your blog post above) and a small Maglite.
Why would the pickpockets want a packet of Kleenex? Well, Russian TP is what you could call minimally processed – as in, you could still see wood pulp fibers in it. I’m not sure “chafing” would be an adequate description of what would happen if you used it on a regular basis. I brought a roll of this stuff home with me and gave out squares of it as souvenirs to my family and friends (along with Cuban cigars in little individual metal canisters – Romeo y Julieta, actually). Hmmm … I may have kinda forgotten to declare those cigars when I re-entered the country. Not sure if I declared the TP either.
No worries, though … this was 1999, well before having undeclared small metal canisters of Cuban origin and a roll of minimally processed Russian toilet paper in my luggage would have gotten me declared a terrorism suspect by airport security.
February 2nd, 2012 at 12:36 pm
Thanks Angel for yet another international pooping story! Russia was never that high on my list of places to see, and now I don’t even want to stop there for a bathroom break. (Just kidding.) The lesson: be prepared. Can’t have those thieves stealing your faux bunwad!