The TRUTH about Valentine’s Day

Greg Tamblyn Newsletter – February 2015

“I’m looking for someone who will love me for who I think I am.”
(from a cartoon by Tim Lachowski)

In case you were wondering…

Valentines Day originated a long time ago when Bacchus, the God of Fun, dropped a live gecko down Cupid’s diaper at a drab New Year’s Eve soiree hosted by Socrates, the God of Endless Questions, Hemlock, and Dull Parties.

To get revenge, Cupid shot a love arrow at Bacchus’ girlfriend Cleopatra, who at that precise moment was admiring a pricey necklace / bracelet / nose ring combo sported by Cupid’s uncle Tiffany, the God of Shiny Sparkly Things.

To keep Cleopatra happy, Bacchus got roped into a high-vig loan from Cupid’s other uncle, Valentino, the God of Easy Money and Bad Decisions. Which is why Bacchus started drinking. Which is how he became the God of Wine and Mardi Gras.*

* Mardi Gras, as you’ve undoubtedly noticed, occurs right around Valentine’s Day.

Not many people know this.

In fact, only my readers know this.

Whatever your love status, spread some around this week. Especially to folks who don’t normally get much. As long as it comes from the heart, it’ll do.

“I got a Valentine’s Day card from my girl. It said, ‘Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!’ Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.”
(Robert Orben)

“On Valentine’s Day, remember: the only truly painless way out of a relationship is to be the first to die.”
(from a cartoon by BizarroComics.com)

LOVE SONGS YOU CAN LAUGH TO

You might know this already, but I have a number of songs that – in matters of the heart – go straight for the funnybone. Like:

  • The Top 10 Whiny Victim Love Songs
  • I’d Like To Be The Man My Dog Thinks I Am
  • Common Side Effects Include
  • The Shootout At The I’m OK, You’re OK Corral
  • Why They Broke Up
  • I Have A Tendency For Codependency
  • I Thought I Would Miss Her
  • Proctor and Johnson’s Pills
  • Passing Trains

Not sure I’ve ever mentioned this before, but you can download my songs on iTunes, as well as my website (via CDBaby). You can download individual songs as well as entire albums. And of course, you can always go for the good old actual hard-copy physical CDs, which also make nice coasters if you don’t have any. Coasters, I mean.

If you can use a little love humor this week, help yourself!

Many studies have shown that one of the most-desired traits in a love partner is a sense of humor. The same is true for friendship:

“If you can make me laugh, I will help you hide a body.”
(Christopher Piatt)

UPCOMING SCHEDULE

Here are public events currently on the books. For all times, locations, tickets, and more info, please visit my Calendar Page. Please go there first before you email me with a question! Thanks.

Feb 22: Baton Rouge LA

Feb 25: Tallahassee FL

Feb 28: Tampa FL  (Posi Music Awards)

Mar 1: Tampa FL

Mar 6: Tampa FL

Mar 7: Palm Beach Gardens FL

Mar 8: Port St. Lucie FL

Mar 12: St. Augustine FL

Mar 13: Cocoa Village FL

Mar 15: Lecanto (Citrus County) FL

 

Apr 12: Davis CA

Apr 17: Brentwood CA

Apr 18: Hayward CA

Apr 19: Vacaville CA

(3 dates still available on this tour)

 

May 28: Charlottesville VA

May 29: Richmond VA

May 30: Chesapeake VA

May 31: Chesapeake VA

May 31: Fairfax VA

Again, please visit my Calendar page for all info. I hope to see you somewhere out there on the road.

As always, thanks for reading. It keeps me off the streets!

“Love doesn’t make the word go ’round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”
(Franklin P. Jones)

Big Love,

Greg

Signing up for my newsletter gets you 2 free song downloads: click here.

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