Wrathful Electrons Bring Smitedown

“When things go wrong, don’t go with them.”  (Elvis Presley)

Last month, in the span of one week…

  • My roof leaked into my kitchen.
  • My cell phone called in sick.
  • My TV went on the fritz.
  • My car A/C called it quits.
  • My central air got fried.
  • My refrigerator, including a freezer full of fresh-frozen wild Alaskan sockeye salmon, died.*

* The dog and I ate very well for several days.

I know what you’re thinking:

“Greg, I ‘m not sure I wanna stand too close to you.”

Or: “Hey pal, I hope you’re not injecting some bad juju into my computer.”

No, pretty sure this is not contagious.

I admit feeling some mild frustration at first. But when it all started piling up, it just became amazing. And frankly, kinda funny. I posted a shorter list on Facebook (I was only halfway through the week), and some of the comments were brilliant:

  • The Universe is telling you, you are hot!
  • You’re cool enough without that stuff.
  • Play that country song backwards….they will all come back!
  • You have been industrially negligent. Your sentence is …CONSUMERISM!
  • So maybe you need to figure out who’s messing with you.
  • Are you on “auto-smite?”
  • Can’t wait to hear the new song!*

*New song is in the works.

The Good News:

  1. I was HOME and not on the road. That was lucky.
  2. Half this stuff was my landlord’s job to fix. I have a great landlord, so everything is fixed now except the TV. And frankly, I’ve considered just using the screen for an art project.
  3. My computer did NOT crash. That would have been a sign from the gods to move to a remote island and start weaving baskets.

At this point you might be thinking: “Greg, all that stuff happening at once, have you thought about what it means? Do you think there’s a message for you in there somewhere?

I’m glad you asked. Everything that broke (except the roof), in order to function at all, depends on a mystical phenomenon known as “electricity,” which George Carlin called “organized lightning.” You might recall that Benjamin Franklin tried to figure out what lightning was, then it hit him. Dave Barry has the best explanation:

“Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.”

And in the last 200 years of human existence, electricity has become critical to enjoying a preferred physical condition known as “comfort.”

“To put it bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.” (Fran Lebowitz)

So yeah, there’ a tendency to think: “This is some really weird karma. What have I done to piss off all these electrons? I mean, I wrote a really nice song about atoms. You’d think they’d be grateful.”

But the message for me came at the end of the week. One of my best friends called to tell me he has melanoma. Another close friend wrote to say he’s very sick with something the doctors thought was “tularemia.” But now they have no idea what it is. He’s been in bed for a month.

When our comfort is disturbed, it’s tempting to get irritated, and to disturb the comfort of others by complaining. But when it’s not life-or-death, it’s usually better to find some humor in the situation.

“Don’t get mad, get funny.”  (Garry Shandling)

When it IS life-or-death, comfort becomes most important. So it’s good to reach out for it. Or share it.

And even then, laughter can be comforting.

“A good time to laugh is when you can.” (Jessamyn West)

© 2015 Greg Tamblyn

Feel free to comment below. If you’ve never commented on this blog before, your comment will have to be approved by the head fred, but it will be. Thanks.

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9 Responses to Wrathful Electrons Bring Smitedown

  1. Sounds like your refrigerator was mimicking the salmon.

    Did you hear about the neutron that walked into the bar and ordered a drink? After he got served, he asked the bartender what he owed him. The bartender said, “No charge.”

    Have you considered weaving baskets made out of old cell phones and computer cords? No charge there, either.

  2. Lesa Simonds says:

    Greg, I love your humor !!! You are SO *right on* that you just had to *end up* laughing about your week’s happenings !!!
    And your interpretation of your *lesson* at week’s end ~ Absolutely IT !!!
    SOooo Good to be able to LAUGH !!!

  3. Cate says:

    Check with your astrologer. Venus is in retrograde.

  4. Sheyenne Kreamer says:

    Sounds to me like you were just having an “energy crisis”.

    Maybe something is trying to tune your energy to a higher level – and the appliances refused to come along for the ride!

  5. Soooo . . . was that the same week I drove the car out of the garage with the side back door open? (again) And my daughter’s house got struck by lightning? Well, golly gee, what *is* in the atmosphere these days? Good thing the lightning struck during the day, eh? (it struck her bedroom); and my grand-daughter is crazy enough to have gone outdoors in the storm (so she noticed the smoke coming out of her parents’ bedroom); and my daughter just happened to have her violin with her (so that it didn’t get smoke- or water-damaged) . . . I could go on. But suffice it to say, I’m grateful for all lessons learned ~ even yours, Greg :) ))))

  6. Celeste Terken says:

    If the TV is an old console model it can be converted into an indoor dog house/bed – plenty of instructions on the Internet. Plus it can be used as the stand for a new flat screen TV.
    If life is giving you melons – you may be dyslexic. :-)

  7. Lynne Key says:

    Hey, Greg,
    My word! What a week for you! I’m glad you’re still you & still smiling. Peace, Brother.

  8. Billie says:

    I love the contrast you shared – the ‘things’going on strike being incomparable to facing the finiteness of health and life. Once again, you pour your life experiences into the inside of a guitar and out comes compassionate wisdom. Awesome! Hmmm….plus it sounds like you stomped down fear and reached for solutions. Have you seen the movie Martian with Matt Damon? His point in the very very last scenes of a funny, heartwarming, suspenseful, believable movie – reach for solutions!

  9. Elizabeth says:

    Next time something keeps hitting you like that, call me. I will clear your energy. Payment will be one of your great songs to listen to. One I don’t have already.

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