It took awhile to hear from all the judges but the wait was worth it. Big Thanks to our judges for participating.
Before I list the winners, let me point out the obvious: we have judges because humor is subjective! Some of my personal favorites did not make the list. So we’ll call these “Honorable Mention.”
“What do you do?”
- Inside work, No Heavy Lifting.
- I am a textile transfer technician. (I put away clothes at Target)
- As little as possible, until my wife finds out.
- The hokie-pokie. I turned myself around!
- Whatever I can get away with.
- I wear a name tag upside down so I can remember who I am.
- I do everyone I can — and the easy ones twice.
- I tell grouchy people to have a nice day, especially when it’s obvious they’ve already made other plans…
- Try to go deaf and blind slower than my dog.
- I’m done.
- You know how eggs come in different sizes? I’m the guy that teaches the chickens how to do that. (Might be my favorite!)
As you might recall, we have a big prize for the top 3 vote-getters, and a smaller prize for the next 7. As it turned out, there were three clear winners, so that made it easy. The next 7 were close, but definitive.
* If you’re a prize winner, please see the note at the bottom.
Here are the 7 winners of one free CD or book, in no particular order:
“What Do You Do?”
Pretend I’m the boss……..but the cat knows better.
- Mary ???
I drive people crazy. It’s the only driving I’m allowed to do.
- Debbie Hazelton
I am a minister, a clown and a nurse. Yes, I know, I walked into a bar.
- Debra J Hart
I’m a telemarketer. Congratulations! You’ve just won a three day adventure cruise to the Bahamas.
- Stan Lubowicki
I’m the clown with the shovel in the rodeo parade.
- David Whitney
I drive a school bus, which means all my problems are behind me.
- Clark Jamison
I turn oxygen into carbon dioxide.
- Tosha Sisler
Congrats to all of you and thanks for playing!
Now for the big three winners, which – and I’m not making this up – all got the exact same number of votes! The prize is 4 CDs plus my book (or 5 CDs), plus an “Analog Brain In A Digital World” t-shirt.
“What Do You Do?”
I answer the phone for Procrastinators Anonymous:
“Procrastinators Anonymous, can you hold please?”
- Jim Downer
I do string theory … but I keep getting tied up in knots.
- Kathy Miller
I exercise a lot doing Diddly Squats.
- Judith Driscoll
All the entries can be viewed here. Thanks to everyone who entered! I hope you had fun coming up with your answers, whether you got a prize or not. Comments are welcome in the Comment Box below.
ATTENTION PRIZE WINNERS:
It’s your responsibility to email me with your name, snail-mail address, and choice of CD(s) or book. The Grand Design counts as 2 CDs.
** I have extra CDs of The Grand Design “Live Tracks” CD (all live comedy songs featuring me, a guitar, and an audience), so you can choose that as one CD if you like.
Preview my CDs here: https://store.cdbaby.com/artist/gregtamblyn
Preview my book here: http://gregtamblyn.com/book.html
© 2019 Greg Tamblyn