Contest Winners For “What Do You Do?”

The results are in!  We have the winners to the contest for humorous answers to the question, “What Do You Do?”

It took awhile to hear from all the judges but the wait was worth it. Big Thanks to our judges for participating.

Before I list the winners, let me point out the obvious: we have judges because humor is subjective!  Some of my personal favorites did not make the list. So we’ll call these “Honorable Mention.”

“What do you do?”

  • Inside work, No Heavy Lifting.
  • I am a textile transfer technician. (I put away clothes at Target)
  • As little as possible, until my wife finds out.
  • The hokie-pokie. I turned myself around!
  • Whatever I can get away with.
  • I wear a name tag upside down so I can remember who I am.
  • I do everyone I can — and the easy ones twice.
  • I tell grouchy people to have a nice day, especially when it’s obvious they’ve already made other plans…
  • Try to go deaf and blind slower than my dog.
  • I’m done.
  • You know how eggs come in different sizes? I’m the guy that teaches the chickens how to do that.   (Might be my favorite!)

As you might recall, we have a big prize for the top 3 vote-getters, and a smaller prize for the next 7. As it turned out, there were three clear winners, so that made it easy. The next 7 were close, but definitive.

* If you’re a prize winner, please see the note at the bottom.

Here are the 7 winners of one free CD or book, in no particular order:

“What Do You Do?”

Pretend I’m the boss……..but the cat knows better.
- Mary ???

I drive people crazy. It’s the only driving I’m allowed to do.
- Debbie Hazelton

I am a minister, a clown and a nurse. Yes, I know, I walked into a bar.
- Debra J Hart

I’m a telemarketer. Congratulations! You’ve just won a three day adventure cruise to the Bahamas.
- Stan Lubowicki

I’m the clown with the shovel in the rodeo parade.
- David Whitney

I drive a school bus, which means all my problems are behind me.
- Clark Jamison

I turn oxygen into carbon dioxide.
- Tosha Sisler

Congrats to all of you and thanks for playing!

Now for the big three winners, which – and I’m not making this up – all got the exact same number of votes! The prize is 4 CDs plus my book (or 5 CDs), plus an “Analog Brain In A Digital World” t-shirt.

“What Do You Do?”

I answer the phone for Procrastinators Anonymous:
“Procrastinators Anonymous, can you hold please?”
- Jim Downer

I do string theory … but I keep getting tied up in knots.
- Kathy Miller

I exercise a lot doing Diddly Squats.
- Judith Driscoll

All the entries can be viewed here. Thanks to everyone who entered! I hope you had fun coming up with your answers, whether you got a prize or not. Comments are welcome in the Comment Box below.


It’s your responsibility to email me with your name, snail-mail address, and choice of CD(s) or book. The Grand Design counts as 2 CDs.

**  I have extra CDs of The Grand Design “Live Tracks” CD (all live comedy songs featuring me, a guitar, and an audience), so you can choose that as one CD if you like.

Preview my CDs here:

Preview my book here:

© 2019 Greg Tamblyn

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