Jokes and Funny Quotes

In my ongoing mission to “lighten up the joint,” allow me to refer you to the funniest jokes, quotes, and sayings on the planet. Categorized for your convenience. Sorted and sifted by a jovial judge of righteous humor so only the finest filter to the top. Click the link and help yourself to a healthy dose of comic relief!

New material is added weekly, so come back often:

5 Responses to Jokes and Funny Quotes

  1. Shelly says:

    Thanks Greg for!
    Just had a client of mine (I cut/style hair) who is elderly move from her retirement home into a nursing home. She is not well and doesn’t want any visitors (sharing room) but, she wants people to call. Wasn’t sure what to say… “how are you” sounds stupid…
    So now I will say “Ready for the Funny of the day!”

    Sorry I won’t get to your show(s) while in WA.
    Safe travel!

  2. Jayne Balma says:

    What an amazing following you have amassed!
    Loved the epitaphs!
    Congratulations. Keep up the good work, and
    travel safely
    hugs, Jayne!

  3. Celeste Terken says:

    Help save us
    Right in the middle of America’s got Talent on Tuesday night was an ultimate Whiny Victim Love Song. . “I can’t smile without you”.
    I do not know correct proceudre for reporting them please advise.

    You know I can’t smile without you
    I can’t smile without you
    I can’t laugh and I can’t sing
    I’m finding it hard to do anything
    You see I feel sad when you’re sad
    I feel glad when you’re glad
    If you only knew what I’m going through
    I just can’t smile without you

  4. Celeste Terken says:

    I just got off the phone with a friend living in New England, near the Canadian border.
    She said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling.
    The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force.
    Her husband has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare.
    She said that if it gets much worse, she may have to let him in.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>