Obama Got A Poster!

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Last January when I released the “World Newspapers Celebrate Obama” poster, the campaign chairperson of Idaho offered to personally hand one to President Obama at the staffers inaugural party. Until recently, I didn’t follow up with her to find out what happened. Here’s what she wrote:

“I was at the inaugural ball that was only for the staffers of his campaign and I had a chance to get close to him on stage. I told him I was the Idaho state director, which he remembered, and said that the whole world is as happy as WE are today, and told him an artist friend gave me this poster as a representation. He was thrilled!” — Kassie Cerami

Cool, huh!

POSTER UPDATE: I have less than 12 posters left, and when they’re gone, they’re gone. (I’m back to my real life now.) If you’d like to order one or more of the remaining few, here’s the link to the info, and the video of how they came about:

http://gregtamblyn.com/obamaposter.htm

There are only a few hundred of these in existence, so who knows, maybe one day they’ll be a collectible.

And if you’re one of the folks who bought one, or several, or helped spread the word, and especially if you’re one of the folks who sent me your front page, thanks again for making this such a great experience.

“We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.”
–Will Rogers

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Mavis Staples is….Funny!

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Okay, we all know Mavis Staples (The Staples Singers) is one of the best R&B/Gospel singers of the last 50 years, hands down. A voice like warm honey and wine, with a little Brillo pad in there when she wants to use it.

But who knew she was hilarious?

Yesterday, by chance I tuned in to NPR’s “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me” and caught her cracking everybody up with stories about her low voice, Bob Dylan proposing marriage, working with Martin Luther King, and Barack Obama.

It’s a great 17 minute joyride, and I highly recommend it for the amusement of your own personal self. The other ladies on the program (Carrie Fisher, and national opera treasure Fredericka von Stade) will also make you smile out loud.

Check it out!

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I Wish

Posted by admin under CONSCIOUSNESS

I love, absolutely love, that somebody would make a video of a song I recorded. I love it even more that he was so humble he didn’t even tell me. (Someone else did.)

“I Wish” was written by Dusty Drake, Frank Highland, Aaron Sain.

It’s on my double CD “The Grand Design.”

~ Greg

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Laughter, Silliness, Songwriting, Creativity

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Here’s an interview I did recently with emPower Music and Arts, about living the humor lifestyle. (A great website and resource, by the way.)

Greg,sharing laughter sounds like a pretty fantastic job description, but I bet it’s harder than it looks. What is the creative process like for you?

It’s best in the shower. I pretty much just stay in the shower all day. It’s hard on the skin, but I never have to use deodorant.

Okay, seriously. (Sort of.) I do like to let creativity come and not try to force it. Relaxed moments are the best for that. But even more important is having the attitude of not trying to take things seriously, and always looking for humor opportunities. It’s a mindset you consciously adopt. Eventually it becomes a habit.

One good exercise is to try never to give a serious answer to a question if you don’t have to. After a while people start finding you a lot more interesting.

When I’m writing songs with Richard Helm, we just sit and talk and have a tendency to be pretty silly. Song ideas bubble up from that, and if they make us laugh, we figure they’ll make other people laugh.

It seems to be working pretty well for you. Your music and humor inspires your fans. How have they inspired you?

By actually buying my stuff! They’ve allowed me to get away with doing this for a living. Plus they read my blog and newsletters and stay in touch and let me know when I’ve struck a chord, when I’m on the right track. They tell me stories of how the songs and humor have helped them.

One guy with cancer recently wrote me and said he took one of my funny CDs to treatment and laughed all the way through chemotherapy. That inspires you to do more, to want to help.

Still on the subject of inspiration, who have been the people who have inspired you most?

Gandhi. That guy was funny!

Just kidding. I grew up with friends and family much funnier than I am, so I kind of soaked it up from them. I was a serious little kid, but I observed that not being serious was more fun. So I made that intention. I think all of us are naturally playful, we just un-learn it. So sometimes we have to re-learn it, like I did.

Role models for funny songwriting are John Prine, Randy Newman, Steve Goodman, Jim Stafford, Loudon Wainwright, Ray Stevens.

What about those days when inspiration fails? We all have days where we’re down, we’re discouraged and don’t want to get out of bed. How do you fight off the blues?

I sleep with a pet skunk. Getting out of bed is no problem.

I don’t really get the blues much, but if I feel a little low I call somebody who’s fun to talk to. And I don’t talk about feeling down. Just the opposite. Connecting with somebody fun is all it takes.

The old gratitude list also works wonders. Very helpful.

Laughter is an integral part of your life, but is there ever a time when a little humor just isn’t going to be appropriate?

Yes, but I’m learning that those times are fewer than I used to think. I was on a plane next to two older ladies who were coming back from their sister’s funeral. They told me all about her, and were obviously grieving. I mentioned I had recently lost my dad, and had written a song for him. They asked what it was called and I said, “Chicken Soup For The Dead.” They stared at me in shock for a second and then just cracked up. Totally lost it. All that pent up emotion came out as laughter, and I could tell they really needed it. For them, it was a gift.

Five days after 9/11, something similar happened. I was speaking at a church Sunday morning, and everybody had been watching TV all week, filling their heads with those horrible images. They were totally depressed and shellshocked. I wasn’t sure what to do, but I winged it and gave a lesson about focusing on what we can actually control, using some funny songs to illustrate that. To this day, I have never had an audience laugh harder. They really needed that release.

You’ve become an expert, it seems, at reading your audience and seeing what they need to hear. What’s the toughest venue/crowd you’ve ever played?

A celebrity charity event of NFL players, spouses and girlfriends. The organizer insisted she pick the songs, and the ones she picked were completely wrong for that audience. I was bombing so badly on stage my mouth went totally dry and I couldn’t form the words I was trying to sing. I was praying just to be able to finish and get off the stage.

It sounds funny now, and it worked out okay. They paid me a lot of money to learn a valuable lesson: never give up creative control.

You’ve received many awards for best songs and best humor. What accomplishment are you most proud of?

At the risk of repeating myself, getting away with doing this for a living. That, and winning a La-Z-Boy recliner on a TV game show.

Okay! So when you have some down time and are relaxing in that La-Z-Boy, what are you planning? What are your future goals?

To inflict myself, in a good way, on as many people as possible. I’m also always hoping to write a really great song. One that makes a difference to a lot of people. It might be fun to start an award for using humor in a very creative, helpful way. To honor people who do that.

Greg, thank you for being with us. I’ll ask one last question and then we’ll let you go. We just celebrated April Fool’s day. What is your best April Fool’s day joke ever?

The one I always remember was when I was a kid. My mom, who was not a practical joker and who never fixed breakfast for us kids because she worked, got up early and made pancakes. But she put a piece of round cloth in each pancake so you couldn’t cut through them. We were young and took forever to figure it out, and she got a huge kick out of that. Then we couldn’t wait for dad to wake up so we could watch her do it to him. I saw a whole new side of my mom, and learned all about practical jokes. Maybe that’s what started me down the road to silliness.

And we are all grateful for the road you’ve taken. Thank you again for taking the time to talk with us.

Thank you.

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Who Invented These Words?

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The following words are a tiny sample of over 2,035 (!) that were introduced (invented, coined) by one person. Do you know, or can you guess who made ‘em up? (Answer below…)

cranny

forefathers

aggragate (verb)

beautified

abstemious

antipathy

critical

dwindle

extract

horrid

vast

excellent

eventful

barefaced

assassination

lonely

leapfrog

indistinguishable

well-read

zany

and countless others, including “countless.”

This person was especially prolific at attaching the prefix “un” to words to form previously unconsidered forms:

unmask, unlock, untie, unhand, unveil…..and over 300 others.

So who was this uncanny wordsmith?

To be, or not to be the correct answer….That is the question….

William Shakespeare

(Source: Shakespeare, The World as Stage, by Bill Bryson)

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Nuggets From Science and Consciousness

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Some cogent thoughts and quotes from the just-finished Science and Consciousness Conference in Santa Fe, featuring Jean Houston, Sam Keen, Matthew Fox, Raymond Moody, Peter Russell, and others. (I emceed and inflicted myself on everybody in a comedy concert.)

Jean Houston is the great-granddaughter of both Sam Houston and Robert E. Lee. (Presumably not together. I’m pretty sure science wasn’t quite that far along in the 1900s.)

People of sustained creativity are usually high sensates, high kinesthetic people. Mental sensory games develop imagery and stimulate creativity. Exercise: imagine sensing all kinds of things using, variously: taste, smell, touch, hearing. It’s a springboard to creativity. (Jean H.)

In Bhutan, Gross National Happiness is valued over Gross National Product. (Peter R.)

Usury (lending money at interest) was banned in every major religion in the world at some point. (Peter R.)

The Martingale Fallacy in gambling: If you lose, double your bet. If you keep losing, keep doubling your bet until you win a bet and you’ll be even. Then start again and hope for a winning streak. The fallacy is that this strategy doesn’t account for a long losing streak that wipes you out so you have no more money to bet. Something similar has happened in the financial world. (Peter R.)

(I think a lot of people use this strategy for relationships too….)

Consumerism is the fallacy that whatever you bought made you feel happier. But ignores the fact that you feel better because you created a feeling of lack in the first place. We find all kinds of things to be discontented about, and we have advertising to remind us of and reinforce the feeling. Stop the feeling of lack, and the need to buy stuff just to feel better is gone. (Peter R.)

(This gave me a cool song idea: “It’s A Great Time To Be Amish.”)

Our right brains (the creative, artistic, spiritual, big picture side) are usually less active, and our educational system and use of language promote this trend. (Diane Hennacy Powell)

Wisdom is the marriage of knowledge and art. (Matthew Fox)

The 21st century word for justice is “sustainability.” (Matthew Fox)

“Retirement,” no. “Refirement,” yes. (Matthew Fox)

$38,000 is spent per second on weapons around the world. (Matthew Fox)

Celtic saying: “Never give a young man a loaded gun who has not learned to dance.” (Matthew Fox)

More from Matthew Fox:

  • St. Augustin: “Spirit is whatever is not matter.”
  • Physicist David Bohm: “Matter is frozen light.”
  • The universal word for spirit in traditions is “light.”
  • Science is now melting the dualism.

Therapist Joanne Woodward in Toronto: If an image is 1,000 volts, an archetype is 100,000 volts. (Matthew Fox)

Green light (e.g. from trees) is the most beneficial to humans. (Leonid Sharashkin)

Warfare is not genetic, it’s not in our hardware. It’s in our software. It’s rooted in our socially constructed narratives and myths. This type of myth is like a post-hypnotic suggestion. (Sam Keen)

Why do we love war? Several reasons:

  • It makes reality easy for us: good vs evil, us vs them. Evil has a source and can be eliminated.
  • War is rooted in longing for a utopian society.
  • God is with US. So all war becomes holy war. Killing becomes a sacrament by our sacrifice.
  • War allows us to feel we’re part of a large drama. Gives us meaning.
  • We buy the myth of redemptive justice.
  • There’s a heroic aspect. Males are given identity and rites of passage, taught obedience to authority, discipline.
  • Promises sexual availability to enemy women once conquered.
  • We buy the myth that war is the protector of the innocent.
  • War is good for business. War profits are enormous, and enrich MANY of us.
  • War unifies us. Suicide rates always go down in wartime. Relieves the boredom of civilian life.
  • Patriotism becomes idolatry.
  • War is spectacle, like huge natural disasters or events.
  • War is adventure in a strange land.
  • War allows soldiers (and civilians, vicariously) to exercise God-like power of life and death. It’s intoxicating.
  • Allows the joy of destruction.
  • Allows the exercise of forbidden sadistic impulses, a vacation from civility. (Abu Ghraib)
  • It validates our claim to superiority. (Sam Keen)

Dealing with the shadow is not a pleasant process. We have to die from the old mythology in order to be reborn. The habit of warfare is nearly universal. But it’s not in our genes, it’s in our stories. (Sam Keen)

A “Just War” is usually just war. (Sam Keen)

Moral courage is more rare than physical courage. (Sam Keen)

And finally….

In two days, tomorrow will be yesterday, but it will still be Now.

© 2009 Greg Tamblyn

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A Few Favorite Quotes

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Here, for a little uplift in the downturn, are a few of my favorite funny observations. There are lots more where these came from, and I’ll post ‘em periodically…

  • “I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.” – Will Rogers
  • “More people are killed every year by pigs than by sharks, which shows you how good we are at evaluating risk.” – Bruce Schneier
  • “They all laughed when I said I wanted to become a professional comedian, but no one’s laughing now.” – Bob Monkhouse
  • “I have known a great many troubles in my life, most of which never happened.” – Mark Twain
  • “The first thing you learn in life is you’re a fool. The last thing you learn is you’re the same fool. Sometimes I think I understand everything. Then I regain consciousness.” -Ray Bradbury
  • “If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.” – Will Rogers
  • “Since everything is none other than exactly as it is, one may well just break out in laughter.” – Long Chen Pa
  • “If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything” – Mark Twain
  • “The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, ‘Is there a meaning to music?’ My answer would be, ‘Yes.’ And ‘Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?’ My answer to that would be, ‘No.’” -Aaron Copland
  • “If only I had a little humility, I’d be perfect.” – Ted Turner
  • “If there’s anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.”
    - Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Keep Smiling!

Greg

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First Laugh Ceremony

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The Navajo have a unique tradition which, to me, sums up everything good and noble about us humans.

When a baby is born, it is regarded as the ultimate, precious gift and must never be abused. From the moment of birth, the child is watched over continuously by family and friends, who patiently wait for the child’s first… laugh.

Why do they do this?

See if you can guess the answer.

(Hint: It’s not to see if the baby is a good future audience for Navajo Comedy Clubs….)

It’s because the baby’s first laugh marks its birth as a social being.

That….is beautiful. And so is what happens next.

Whichever brother, sister, parent, cousin, aunt, uncle, or passing acquaintance is present at the first laugh is deemed to have caused it. (Even if he or she is not commonly considered comical.) The laughter instigator then receives the honored privilege of preparing a special ceremony to welcome the child into society.

(It’s also believed the infant takes on some of the traits of this person. So all new parents might want to give some thought to “who’s minding the baby.”)

The First Laugh Ceremony is a party where guests bearing plates of freshly cooked food slowly pass in front of the new, first-time laughing child. They do not do this to tempt the infant with appetizing aromas of fry bread and pinto beans. Quite the opposite.

The baby (with some help, of course) places a pinch of salt on the food of each person as a symbolic act of generosity. The salt is said to rekindle and sustain the goodness in each recipient, and is considered the first in a lifetime of generous acts by the child.

This inspiring tradition has a few lessons for us:

  • We’re social beings, thriving mainly in the company and support of others.
  • Generosity is a noble virtue, best instilled from birth.
  • Opportunities to celebrate generosity remind us of and regenerate our goodness.
  • An act of kindness raises the endorphins of not only the receiver, but also of the giver, and of everyone who witnesses it.
  • Genuine, heartfelt laughter is an act of generosity!

Celebrating laughter and generosity is a suspiciously healthy activity any time, but especially when the stress gremlins are lurking.

I might humbly suggest, at the very least, a party.

If I can help your organization celebrate (and de-stress!) with a Comedy Keynote Concert, please feel free to get in touch.

“Laughter,” said Victor Borge, “is the shortest distance between two people.”

© 2009 Greg Tamblyn, Motivational Humorist and Laughter Lover

Update: According to the author of the Woldwords book, the name for the ceremony is “childelgo.”

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Don’t Mess With Pluto

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Over two years after the downsizing of Pluto from planetary status, confusion and consternation continue to plague earthlings born after 1900. Which I’m assuming is everybody. This is not surprising if you know Pluto. A quick look at the history of this remote, peculiar ice ball suggests we might want to reconsider, if we know what’s good for us.

1930 – Pluto is discovered after years of searching for the mysterious Planet X*. Its wildly popular name is the brainstorm of an 11 year old girl in England who loves Roman mythology. (Pluto is the god of wealth and death, ruler of the underworld and things that come from down below. Like oil and radioactive elements.) Shortly thereafter, Mickey Mouse’s dog is named after our new planetary cousin, and generations of dog and cartoon lovers are delighted. Disney makes a fortune.

1979 – NASA engineers, being engineers and not sensitive to the feelings of planets, royally snub Pluto when Voyager I is re-routed from a proposed Pluto flyby to one of Saturn’s moons instead. Soon afterward the Ayatollah grabs power in Iran (when the Shah leaves on “vacation”), Three Mile Island nuclear plant melts down (plutonium), OPEC increases prices 50% (oil), California starts gas rationing, and the prime rate hits 15.5%. “The Dukes Of Hazzard” premiers.

1989 – Pluto crosses Neptune’s orbit to become the 8th planet, now much closer to earth than usual and still pissed off. Shortly thereafter, the Ayatollah offers a $5 million reward for the head of Salman Rushdie, Exxon spills oil all over Alaska’s coast, and an earthquake hits San Francisco just minutes before the World Series. “Baywatch” premiers.

1999 – The International Astronomical Union, based in France, defiantly stands up to rogue astronomers and declares that Pluto is, was, and always will be a full-fledged planet. Almost immediately Iran President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad says he has no interest in nuclear weapons (“they’re so 20th century”), Bill Clinton is cleared of all impeachment charges, the Euro is launched successfully, the American Economy is at an all-time high, and a loving couple in Chicago named Barack and Michelle Obama give birth to a daughter. “The West Wing” premiers.

2001 – Despite the IAA’s support of Pluto, Hayden Planetarium astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson unceremoniously kicks Pluto out of the family, complaining, “It doesn’t dominate its orbit. It’s not with us. I think its axis is evil.” The next day, George W. Bush is inaugurated. “Fear Factor” premiers.

2006 – The International Astronomical Union, still based in France, surrenders to the opposition and demotes Pluto to a newly formed class of “Dwarf Planets,” dropping it from the pantheon of Gods to the realm of Dopey, Grumpy, Sneezy, and Gimli. In no time, Iran says it will return to nuclear “research,” one million people go on strike in France, Muslims riot over Danish cartoons, the White House announces a deficit increase, Dick Cheney shoots a guy in the face, the benefits of a low-fat diet are proved false, the FDA rejects the medical use of marijuana, and Sarah Palin is elected governor of Alaska.

Coincidence? I think not.

* (Interestingly, Pluto was discovered at the Percival Lowell Observatory in Flagstaff. Pluto’s discovery had been predicted by Lowell himself, because of an observed aberration in Neptune’s orbit. It turns out the observed aberration was not there at all, but was in fact a “mistake.” A mistake? You don’t know Pluto.)

© 2009 Greg Tamblyn, Motivational Humorist and Pluto Lover

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Can You Guess The Ending?

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I can’t account for the veracity of this story, but this is how I heard it….

KURTIS THE STOCK BOY AND BRENDA THE CHECKOUT GIRL

In a supermarket, Kurtis the stock boy, was busily working when a new voice came over the loud speaker asking for a carry-out at register 4. Kurtis was almost finished, and wanted to get some fresh air, and decided to answer the call. As he approached the check-out stand a distant smile caught his eye, the new check-out girl was beautiful.

She was an older woman (maybe 26, and he was only 22) and he fell in love.

Later that day, after his shift was over, he waited by the punch clock to find out her name. She came into the break room, smiled softly at him, took her card and punched out, then left. He looked at her card, BRENDA. He walked out only to see her start walking up the road. Next day, he waited outside
as she left the supermarket, and offered her a ride home. He looked harmless enough, and she accepted. When he dropped her off, he asked if maybe he could see her again, outside of work. She simply said it wasn’t possible.

He pressed and she explained she had two children and she couldn’t afford a baby-sitter, so he offered to pay for the baby-sitter. Reluctantly she accepted his offer for a date for the following Saturday. That Saturday night he arrived at her door only to have her tell him that she was unable to go with him. The baby-sitter had called and canceled. To which Kurtis simply said, “Well, let’s take the kids with us.”

She tried to explain that taking the children was not an option, but again not taking no for an answer, he pressed. Finally Brenda, brought him inside to meet her children. She had an older daughter who was just as cute as a bug, Kurtis thought, then Brenda brought out her son, in a wheelchair. He was born a paraplegic with Down Syndrome.

Kurtis asked Brenda, “I still don’t understand why the kids can’t come with us?” Brenda was amazed. Most men would run away from a woman with two kids, especially if one had disabilities – just like her first husband and father of her children had done. Kurtis was not ordinary – - – he had a different mindset.

That evening Kurtis and Brenda loaded up the kids, went to dinner and the movies. When her son needed anything, Kurtis would take care of him. When he needed to use the restroom, he picked him up out of his wheelchair, took him and brought him back. The kids loved Kurtis. At the end of the
evening, Brenda knew this was the man she was going to marry and spend the rest of her life with.

A year later, they were married and Kurtis adopted both of her children.

Since then they have added two more kids.

So what happened to Kurtis the stock boy and Brenda the check-out girl?

Well……

Mr. & Mrs. Kurt Warner now live in Arizona , where he is currently employed as the quarterback of the National Football League Arizona Cardinals and has his Cardinals in the hunt for a possible appearance in the Super Bowl. Is this a surprise ending or could you have guessed who he is?

It should be noted that he also quarterbacked the Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI.

He has also been the NLF’s Most Valuable Player twice and the Super Bowl’s Most Valuable Player.

AND THE REST OF THE STORY:

When Kurt, his wife and 7 children go out to eat he has one of his children pick out a family eating at the restaurant. Kurt then tells the wait staff he is picking up the tab for that family’s dinner anonymously. He remembers the days he was working nights in the grocery store and feeding his family on food stamps.

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